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The Life Of Saint Teresa by Francis Alice Forbes
CHAPTER 1
GIRLHOOD
” He who loves Thee, O my God, travels safely by
the open and royal road, far from the precipice; he has
scarcely stumbled at all when Thou stretchest forth
Thy hand to save him.” ST. TERESA.
” IT was the little girl who made me do it,”
pleaded Rodrigo de Cepeda, and although he
did not know it, the excuse was as old as the
world.
The ” little girl ” in question was Rodrigo s
seven-year-old sister Teresa, who had been
seized with a burning desire for martyrdom.
She wanted to see God, she passionately
assured her brother, and as it was necessary
to die first, martyrdom was obviously the
only means to her end. Rodrigo himself
had not seen the matter quite in the same
light, but as Teresa was his own particular
friend and playmate, and they had always
done everything together, he had considered
himself bound to enter into her views.
The two had set forth hand in hand at an
12 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
early hour in the morning to seek the desired
martyrdom in the country of the Moors,
but fate had been against them. Scarcely
had the children left the town of Avila when
they fell into the hands of an uncle, who was
returning from the country. Untouched by
their tears and prayers, he promptly took
them home, to the relief of the anxious mother,
who was searching everywhere for the missing
pair. Rodrigo s excuse has already been
given. Teresa with earnest eyes repeated
her assertion: ” I wanted to go to God, and
one cannot do that unless one dies first/
Dona Beatriz de Ahumada was a wise and
saintly woman. She explained gently to her
little daughter that, for most people the road
to God lies through a life spent faithfully in
His service. Such a life, especially if one
tried one s best to please God in everything
one did, and was careful to avoid offending
Him, might be quite as meritorious as the
shorter way of martyrdom, which was, more
over, only for the few.
It was hard to give up all one s dreams.
Teresa consulted the Lives of the Saints,
and decided that the most desirable thing,
after a martyr s death, was a hermit s life.
Assisted by the faithful Rodrigo, she set to
GIRLHOOD 13
work to build a hermitage in the garden,
but, as cement had not entered into their
plans, the stones fell down as fast as they
built them up. Teresa was at last obliged
to admit sorrowfully that there seemed no
more prospect of a hermit s life than of a
martyr s death, and it was in this moment
of discouragement that her mother s words
came back to her. To do one s best to
please God and not to offend Him seemed
possible for anybody; she determined, there
fore, to try this simple plan, and with her
usual energy set to work at once. She had
not very much pocket-money, but what she
had she gave to the poor ; she tried to say her
prayers as devoutly as possible, and resolved
to do a kind action or say a kind word to
everyone she met. It sounds a simple pro
gramme, but it took the little girl all her time
and cost her many acts of self-denial how
many, those who practise it will soon discover.
But she brought sunshine with her wherever
she went, and she began to be supremely
happy, for there is no joy like that of giving
joy to others.
Dona Beatriz de Ahumada, Teresa s sweet
young mother, did her utmost to bring up
her large family in the fear and the love of
14 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
God. Gentle, pure, and devout, she was
herself their best example. Of the three
sisters and nine brothers who made up the
merry family party in the big house at Avila,
not one in after life lost the strong faith and
fervour that had been so firmly rooted in
their childish hearts. Don Alonso de Cepeda,
her husband, was a man whom all respected.
Truthful, charitable, and chivalrous, he was
loved as well as obeyed by all his children.
St. Teresa herself tells us that she never
knew her father or mother to respect any
thing but goodness, and that all the children
in mind and heart took after their parents.
” All, that is,” she adds in her humility
” but myself.”
The happy family life was soon to be
broken up. When Teresa was between twelve
and thirteen years old, Dona Beatriz died.
In the anguish of loneliness that followed
the loss of the mother to whom she had con
fided all her joys and sorrows, the child flung
herself on her knees before the Blessed Virgin,
begging her to be her mother now that she
had no longer one on earth.
Of all the family, Teresa was perhaps the
one who missed Dona Beatriz the most sorely,
and who needed her guiding hand the most!
GIRLHOOD 15
Maria, her elder sister, was already grown up,
Juana, the younger, scarcely more than a
baby ; Teresa, beautiful, brilliant and lovable,
was just growing from childhood into girl
hood. Her brothers adored her, and amongst
the troop of young cousins who frequented
the house she ruled as a little queen. There
was no danger in this as long as Teresa
carried out her childish resolution of pleasing
God and never offending Him ; but time wore
on, and she who had inspired that resolution
was no longer at hand to encourage and advise.
There was one amongst Teresa s cousins
a good deal older than herself, whose conver
sation, she tells us, did her much harm.
She was a shallow and frivolous girl, who
thought of nothing but pleasure and amuse
ment. By the time that Teresa was fourteen,
she seemed to have forgotten all her old de
sires of being a Saint. Whatever time could
be spared from the reading of romances was
spent in setting off her girlish beauty to the
best advantage and enjoying the admiration
that she received from all within the little
home circle.
But the Blessed Virgin did not forget the
child who had thrown herself at her feet on
the clay of her mother s death. Though
16 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
Teresa was her father s darling, he was not
so blinded by affection for his young daughter
as not to notice the change in her behaviour.
He was the first to see that her prayers were
more hurried, her visits to the church fewer;
that she thought more of herself and less of
others. He noticed with distress the un
worthy friendship that was doing all the
mischief. He noticed, too, that in spite of
all her amusements, Teresa was less joyous
than of old, when she had set her childish
steps to ” go to God.” He took counsel
with his eldest daughter Maria, who had
also remarked the change in her sister and was
grieving over it in silence. She herself was
soon to be married, and it was this that
helped them to come to a decision, for when
Maria was established in a house of her own,
Teresa could not very well remain at home
alone with her brothers. It was decided to
send her to the Augustinian Convent to com
plete her education, and no sooner was the
wedding over than the plan was carried out.
After the first week or two of homesickness
Teresa was heartily glad. She was already
tired of the life she had been leading, and
the old desires were tugging at her heart
strings. Maria Bricefio, the nun who had
GIRLHOOD 17
chief charge of the children, was both wise
and holy, and it was not long before she had
won Teresa s heart.
” How well she used to speak of God/
wrote the Saint in later years, ” and with what
delight I used to listen !” It must be beauti
ful to be so good, she thought, and to belong
wholly to God; and yet she would shiver at
the thought of becoming a nun, and hope
that God would never ask such a thing of
her. Her life at the convent was a happy
one, for Teresa had the gift of making friends,
and all the nuns loved her. It gave her joy
to see how good they were, she says, and to
live amongst them.
At the end of a year and a half, however,
Teresa fell ill, and returned to her father s
house. As soon as she was well enough to
travel they went down to the country to the
home of her married sister. When, under
Maria s loving care, she had grown strong
again, and Don Alonso proposed to return
to Avila, Maria begged to keep Teresa with
her, but her father would not hear of parting
with his treasure, from whom he had been
separated, he thought, quite long enough.
On the way home they were to stay for a few
days at Hortigosa with Don Pedro Sanchez,
i8 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
Teresa s uncle, a holy old man who lived the
life of a recluse and a saint. Don Alonso s
stay could only be short, as he was obliged
to return home on business; but Don Pedro
was so delighted with Teresa that he begged
his brother to leave her with him until he
could come back and fetch her home himself
a week or two later.
Hortigosa seemed a little dull to Teresa
after the happy life she had led with her
sister, until Don Pedro, the greater part of
whose time was passed in prayer and study,
proposed one day that his niece should read
aloud to him in her spare moments. Teresa,
always ready to give pleasure to others, set
herself bravely to a task which she did not
expect to enjoy. To her surprise, however,
the Epistles of St. Jerome and the writings
of St. Augustine and St. Gregory, which were
what her uncle chiefly preferred, turned out
to be less dry than she had expected. Her
quick intelligence and love of all that was
noble and beautiful soon made her almost
as eager for the hour of reading as Don Pedro
himself, and many were the happy moments
spent in the old Spanish garden at Hortigosa.
As the time went on, Don Pedro and his young
niece found that they had much in common.
GIRLHOOD 19
They talked now over the daily reading,
while the old desire to seek and to find God
arose more strongly than ever in Teresa s
heart, with a deeper understanding of the
means to be taken. Already she had dis
covered that earthly pleasures were unsatis
fying. She had learnt that those who give
the most to God are the happiest, and yet her
nature shrank, as human nature will, from
sacrifice and suffering. How was it all to
end ? That was the question uppermost
in Teresa s heart when her father came to
take her home to Avila.
CHAPTER II
THE CALL OF GOD
” Let him begin by not being afraid of the Cross, and
he will see how our Lord will help him to carry it.”
- TERESA.
TERESA was courageous by nature, and the
long talks with her uncle in the garden at
Hortigosa had reawakened all the desires
of her childhood. A long life of experience
had taught the old man what the child had
learnt by intuition, that ” to get to God “
was the one thing in the world worth striving
for.
What was the surest way to Paradise ?
was the question Teresa asked herself. In
spite of the fact that her nature shrank from
the thought of the religious life, with all that
it entailed of self-sacrifice, she earnestly
prayed that God would show her what He
desired of her, and give her the strength to
do it. How would it be for her in the future
if she remained in the world ? She had been
weak once already in the presence of danger.
20
THE CALL OF GOD 21
That the religious life was the highest life
she was certain; she soon became convinced
that for her at least it was the safest. As
for its hardships, its self-denial, if other
people had borne them, why not she ? Could
she not suffer a little for that Lord who had
suffered so much for her ? And after all,
was not He Himself the Strength of those
who chose the rough ways for His sake ?
So it was, in quiet communing with her
own soul, weighing the things of earth against
the things of Heaven, that Teresa chose the
latter, with all that the sacrifice entailed.
It remained to break the news to her father.
That he would suffer Teresa knew, but, once
assured that her resolve was taken, she had
no doubt but that he would give her gen
erously to God. In this, however, she was
mistaken; Don Alonso absolutely refused his
consent. Entreaties were of no avail, argu
ments could not move him. In vain Teresa
appealed to her sister Maria, to her uncle,
Don Pedro ; in vain her brothers, touched by
her evident distress, pleaded her cause with
their father. Teresa was his favourite child,
said Don Alonso ; he could not and would not
part with her; he wished to hear no more of
the matter.
22 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
But if Don Alonso was resolute, Teresa
was resolute too, for God had spoken, and
she saw clearly where her duty lay. Although
her heart was breaking at the thought of
parting from those she loved so dearly, and
the home life that was so sweet, she deter
mined to take things into her own hands.
Close to the town of Avila, in the midst of
its quiet gardens, lay the Carmelite Convent
of the Incarnation. Thither a few years
before, Juana Suarez, a beloved friend of
Teresa s, had gone to give her young life to
God in the cloister. From her Teresa had
learnt something of the peace and happiness
of the religious life, and the prayers of Juana
and of her sisters in religion had been enlisted
to win Don Alonso s consent. One of Teresa s
brothers not the faithful Rodrigo, who was
already making a military career for himself
in the New World, but Antonio showed her
much sympathy, for the desire of his heart
also was to belong to God. Brother and
sister at last resolved to leave their father s
house together and to enter, Teresa at the
Incarnation and Antonio at the Dominican
monastery near by. Early in the morning
before the household was astir, as in the old
days Teresa had crept out with Rodrigo to
THE CALL OF GOD 23
seek martyrdom in the country of the Moors,
the two set forth. Teresa herself tells us
that the agony she felt at leaving the beloved
home of her childhood was so great that she
did not think the pains of death could be
greater, but not for that would she pause.
Once within the convent walls a deep peace
fell on her soul. On that very day, as was
the custom, her beautiful hair was cut off and
she was clothed with the novice s habit and
veil. Kneeling before the Tabernacle, she
thanked God who had given her the strength
to do what she knew was His Will, and offered
herself to Him for ever. A few days later
her happiness was complete, for Don Alonso,
who had been thinking things over in his
heart, came himself to the Convent of the
Incarnation to give his daughter the consent
that he had so long withheld. The bond
between the two was now deeper and stronger
than ever, ennobled as it was by sacrifice.
Humbly Don Alonso asked Teresa to teach
him, now that she herself had chosen the
higher life, how to serve God better. The
parlour of the Incarnation became for him
and for Teresa s brothers the sunniest spot in
Avila. There each one brought his troubles
and difficulties; careers were decided on and
24 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
plans discussed for the future; the bright
young novice had help and advice for all.
Even Antonio would come from time to time
from his monastery to talk about the spiritual
life with the sister who had helped him so
much to understand its meaning during their
last days at home together. As for the
little Juana, Don Alonso brought her him
self to the convent, that her education might
be carried on under Teresa s care.
If the struggle was still sometimes keen in
the novice s heart, no one was allowed to
suspect it. She performed her humble duties
with such a radiant face that everyone who
saw her was cheered by the sight. She
prayed with so much fervour, and atoned
for her mistakes with so much humility, that
her sisters used sometimes to wonder what
the little novice would become in after life.
Her greatest joy was in helping others; she
was always on the look-out for such little
opportunities; but the old and the infirm
were her special care. When she knelt at
her bedside at night, if her chances of prac
tising charity throughout the day had been
few, she would grieve over it and ask God s
pardon. Sometimes it would happen at that
very moment that an uncertain footfall
THE CALL OF GOD 25
would pass her door, and she would know
that in the darkness one of the sisters was
groping her way to her cell. Then Teresa
would spring up and, taking a little lamp in
her hand, hasten to light her on her way,
rejoicing that God had sent her the chance
of doing one more kind action before she
slept.
So highly was her thoughtfulness for others
appreciated that she was named to help in
the infirmary, an employment usually given
to the professed alone. She loved the sick,
and they loved her. They knew that they
could ask any service of her, and that she
was never weary of waiting on them, how
ever tiring and unpleasant to her nature the
duties might be. There was one amongst
them who suffered from a terrible disease
and whose poor body was a mass of open
sores. Teresa, who knew that many of the
sisters, in spite of themselves, shrank from
approaching her, made herself her special
nurse. Not content with dressing the gaping
wounds, she would sit beside her patient by
the hour, kiss her hands, and do everything
she could to show that, far from being a mor
tification to serve her, it was her greatest
joy. Filled with admiration at the courage
26 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
and resignation with which the sufferer bore
her terrible malady, Teresa would ask God
that if ever she should be herself attacked
with illness, she might have grace to bear it
with the same love and patience.
It seemed as if God had heard her prayer,
for not long after Teresa herself began to
fail in health. At first she took no notice
of the continual sickness and weariness that
assailed her, for she was not given to think
ing about her own ailments. The day of
her profession was drawing nigh, and every
thing else was forgotten in the thought
that she would soon belong wholly to our
Lord.
But the happy day came and passed, and
Teresa grew rather worse than better. Her
Superiors took alarm; treatment after treat
ment was tried, but in vain. It was now her
turn to accept the services of others and to
practise patience. The days and nights in
the infirmary were long for one so young
and full of life and energy. The dear com
munity life of work and prayer that she loved
so much had to be given up; she was too
weak even to read.
Yet, as she lay helpless on her bed and
contrasted the old happy days with the
THE CALL OF GOD 27
present time of suffering, there were no com
plaints, even in her own heart. “Since I
have received good things from my Lord,” she
would say gently, “why not also evil?”
Her sisters were touched at the sight of the
cheerful content that never seemed to waver.
As of old she thought of others more than of
herself, and did her best to give as little
trouble as possible.
Don Alonso, in great distress, sent phy
sician after physician to see his daughter,
but all declared that nothing could be done;
the illness was incurable. At last in despair
he resolved to take her to a woman doctor
who had a reputation for working wonderful
cures. The nuns of the Convent of the In
carnation were not cloistered, but were al
lowed to go and visit their intimate friends
and relations; there would be therefore no
difficulty in taking Teresa to Bezedas, where
the woman lived. Juana Suarez, the friend
of Teresa s girlhood, was permitted to go
with her, for the nuns were anxious to do all
they could for one whom they felt certain
they would never see again. In the early
winter the three set out together for Horti-
gosa, the first stage on their journey. The
treatment was not to begin until the spring,
28 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
but Don Alonso had planned that Teresa
should spend the winter months with her
sister Maria. Since the air of Castellanos
had done her so much good before, who could
tell what it might not do again ? It was,
at all events, worth trying.
CHAPTER III
THE GREAT MISTAKE
” They who would follow Christ, if they do not wish
to be lost, must walk in the way He walked Himself.”
- TERESA.
IF Don Pedro was delighted to see his niece
clothed in the religious habit, he was no less
distressed at her condition. He surrounded
her with every care during her short stay at
Hortigosa, and the little book on prayer
which he gave her as a parting gift soon be
came Teresa s chief treasure. The long hours
of suffering and weakness, during which she
could neither work nor read, she resolved to
spend in a union with God which should be
closer than ever. It was the only way, as
she had learnt by experience, to be cheerful
and patient when in continual pain. Now,
with the help of her uncle s little book, she
set to work to make prayer the chief occupa
tion of her life. She used to try, she tells
us, to imagine Jesus Christ her Lord present
within her soul, and with a loving heart to
29
30 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
follow Him through all the mysteries of His
earthly life, praying the while that she might
serve Him to the utmost of her power. Her
father and sister, knowing that she now be
longed to God and not to them, were careful
not to disturb her; but if they were thought
ful of her, she too was thoughtful of them.
When they were with her, no matter how much
she might be suffering, she was always gay
and merry, and the greatest treat for Maria s
two little children was to be allowed to visit
their aunt.
So the months wore on ; but to Don Alonso s
grief Teresa grew no better. The air of
Castellanos, that was to work such marvels,
seemed to have lost its magic. When the
early spring arrived and it was time to set
out for Bezedas, the journey had to be taken
more slowly than ever, for Teresa was so
weak that even the most careful movement
brought on alarming fainting fits. The quack
doctor from whose skill Don Alonso had
hoped so much turned out to be an ignorant
woman, whose violent remedies were utterly
unsuited to anyone in Teresa s condition.
Under her treatment the invalid lost the last
remnants of strength that she possessed.
Racked with pain from head to foot, burning
THE GREAT MISTAKE 31
with fever and wasted to a skeleton, she
was brought back to Avila by her heart
broken father in a condition more dead than
alive.
It was the Vigil of the Assumption, and
Teresa wished to make her confession. Her
eagerness, however, alarmed Don Alonso,
who feared that it might be prompted by the
thought that she was dying. In order, as he
imagined, to reassure her and to convince her
that there was no real danger, he refused to
send for a priest. That very night Teresa
became unconscious, and lay for four days in
a trance. It was reported in the town that
she was dead ; her grave was dug at the Con
vent of the Incarnation, and two sisters were
sent to watch by her coffin. Don Alonso
alone refused to give up hope, even when
the doctor despaired. Reproaching himself
bitterly for his refusal to grant Teresa s last
desire, he knelt night and day by her bedside,
chafing her cold hands in his, and beseeching
God that she might not die without the
Sacraments, through his fault. His prayer
was granted. On the fourth day Teresa
opened her eyes, smiled at her father and her
brothers, who were gathered round her bed,
and repeated her request. This time the
32 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
poor father did not hesitate; the priest was
sent for at once.
Teresa made her confession and received
her Lord with tears of joy, after which the
cruel sufferings, for a moment interrupted,
began again more violently than ever. For
nearly seven months she lay in agony, ex
pressing only one desire to return to her
convent. Don Alonso at last yielded to her
wish, and she was transported with the great
est care to the Incarnation, an object of pity
to all who beheld her. For eight months
more she remained unable to move, at the
end of which time, to her great joy, she was
able to crawl about on her hands and knees.
During these weary days of suffering and
helplessness, prayer was her one comfort
and charity her only thought. It was said
that in her presence the absent were always
safe, for she would allow nothing to be said
against them. Her cheerful patience as
tonished her sisters; they could not under
stand how it could endure amidst such
sufferings; a talk with her was like a tonic
for those who were in difficulties or sad at
heart.
The doctors had decided that the paralysis
was incurable; but to the young nun of
THE GREAT MISTAKE 33
twenty-four, who had already suffered so
much and who lay looking forward to a life
of helpless inaction, there came a great long
ing to work for our Lord as well as to suffer
for Him. Earthly doctors had failed her;
she would appeal to the heavenly. She had
always had a great devotion to St. Joseph,
and it was to him she now addressed herself.
u To other Saints,” she wrote in after life,
” our Lord seems to have given grace to
succour men in some special necessity, but
to this glorious Saint, I know by experience,
to help us in all. He helps in a special way
those souls who commend themselves to him.”
The answer to her prayer was a complete
cure.
Teresa had asked for health that she might
serve God better, and He had granted her
request. The time had come to put into
practice all that had been planned during the
hours of prayer and suffering.
Looking back on the past in after years,
Teresa declared that she had been wrong in
thinking that she could serve God better in
health than in sickness. ” He knows what
is for our good,” she says, ” and His Holy
Will is best.” For in spite of all her desires,
sixteen years were to pass before, leaving the
3
34 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
things of earth behind her, she was to reach
those heights of holiness to which God had
called her.
The Rule of the Order of Mount Carmel,
drawn up by St. Albert, Patriarch of Jerusa
lem, on a foundation much older still, pre
scribed silence, solitude, prayer and perpetual
abstinence. Towards the end of the four
teenth century, when the Great Schism had
brought with it a relaxation of the religious
Orders, men began to grow weary of aus
terity, and the Carmelites obtained from the
Pope a mitigation or softening of their Rule.
The severe fasts and abstinences were done
away with, enclosure was given up, and the
spirit of prayer that had been the character
istic of the Order rapidly declined.
The Convent of the Incarnation had been
founded lately under the mitigated Rule;
the nuns knew no other. They led good
holy lives, but not very different from those
which they might have led as good Catholics
in the world. Visitors were allowed at all
hours; the religious were permitted to leave
the convent to stay with friends and rela
tions; silence was not observed, abstinence
not practised. The friends and families of
the nuns availed themselves largely of their
THE GREAT MISTAKE 35
opportunities, and frequented the parlours
and the garden of the convent.
Teresa, warm of heart and affectionate by
nature, could not refuse to receive the many
visitors who flocked to see her on her recovery,
conscious though she was that such visits
did not tend to a spirit of prayer and recol
lection. People declared that she did them
good and helped them, which was undoubtedly
true, for she had the gift of leading souls to
God. Other nuns whose virtue she admired
did the same thing, she argued to herself;
it was the custom of the convent. But all
souls are not called to the same perfection,
and the results soon made themselves felt in
Teresa s spiritual life. The prayer and union
with God which she had practised in the
infirmary began to be impossible under these
new conditions, amid the distractions caused
by these incessant visits. Teresa began to
think that it would be better for her, imper
fect as she was, to content herself with the
vocal prayers prescribed by the Rule. Why
should she aspire to a closer union with God
than those amongst whom she lived ?
Yet she could not be at rest, for the voice of
God spoke continually in her soul, urging her
to be faithful to her earlier aspirations. Al-
3 6 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
though in the eyes of all a faithful and fervent
religious, Teresa knew in her own heart how
far she fell short of the perfection to which
God was calling her. Neither was she with
out warning, for one day when talking with
a friend, whose acquaintance she had lately
made, she became suddenly aware of a
horrible toad-like creature crawling rapidly
towards her. On another occasion while
she was with the same person, our Lord
appeared to her, His sad and reproachful
face haunting her for long days afterwards.
Don Alonso, who had taken to heart
Teresa s instructions of earlier days, was
advancing rapidly in the way of prayer and
holiness. Smitten to the heart by the venera
tion with which he regarded her, Teresa told
him that she no longer prayed as of old, but
she did not disturb him in his belief that it
was her health, which was still far from good,
that prevented her. She little knew that the
death of her beloved father was to be the
beginning of her own new life. Suddenly
struck down with a dangerous illness, he sent
an imploring message to his best-beloved
daughter to come to his bedside. Teresa,
with the permission of her Superiors, hastened
to give him the comfort he desired. Though
THE GREAT MISTAKE 37
in great pain, the holy old man thought only
of his soul and of the life to come, and bore
his sufferings with heroic patience.
The end was near, and it was at her father s
deathbed that Teresa found courage for the
fight. She had been much struck by the fer
vour and piety of the Dominican friar who had
assisted Don Alonso in his last hours, and
determined to have recourse to him for the
needs of her own soul. He understood at
once to what heights God had called her.
In the first place, he told her, she must hold
fast to mental prayer, and under no condi
tion give it up.
Teresa obeyed ; but it was hard to preserve
the recollection necessary for that intimate
union with God in the midst of the distrac
tions to which the intercourse with her
numerous friends exposed her. For years
the conflict raged in her soul. She had not
the strength to give up her friendships,
although she felt that God desired it of her.
The hours of prayer were hours of anguish,
sometimes spent in a frenzied longing for the
clock to strike, sometimes in tears and con
trition at the thought of her own weakness.
Teresa was nearly forty years old when the
grace of God at last triumphed in her soul.
38 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
One day at the end of Lent, on entering the
chapel she caught sight of a statue that had
just been placed there. It was her Lord that
stood before her, covered with wounds and
suffering the bitter pains of His Passion. A
sudden understanding of what He had en
dured for her and her own ingratitude pierced
Teresa s heart like a sword. Falling at His
Feet, she besought Him with bitter tears that
He would give her strength to do His Will.
With the prayer came courage. The work
that was to be so gloriously achieved was
begun.
CHAPTER IV
CHRIST OR SATAN ?
” O Life of all lives, Thou slayest none that put their
trust in Thee and seek Thy friendship.” ST. TERESA.
IT has been said that God will never allow
Himself to be outdone in generosity. For
fourteen years, in spite of dryness, weariness,
and ill-health, Teresa persevered in prayer.
After a long struggle, very hard to her affec
tionate nature, she had given up all the earthly
ties to which she clung. The reward followed
closely on the sacrifice. God began to reveal
Himself to her soul with an ever-increasing
intimacy, while the sense of His continual
presence never left her. It was no longer
hard to recollect herself ; the thought of God
was always in her heart. Her soul, as she
herself tells us, lost itself in God; she no
longer lived, but God lived in her.
It was about this time that St. Francis
Borgia, General of the Spanish Province,
resolved to found a Jesuit College in Avila.
Rumours of the holiness of the two sons of
39
40 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
St. Ignatius, who had been sent there to
inaugurate the work, came to the ears of
Teresa, who conceived an ardent desire to
seek their counsel and advice. The very
graces which God was showering upon her
made her uneasy. In her humility she asked
herself if she, a sinner, were worthy of such
favours, and feared lest the devil might be
deceiving her.
Teresa had some reasons for her misgivings.
Not long since, the visions and prophecies
of a certain Franciscan nun of Cordova had
been the wonder and admiration of the whole
country. After having been regarded as a
Saint for thirty years, this woman, suddenly
touched by grace, had confessed that her
life had been a deception and her visions
imaginary, and was now expiating her sins
in bitter sorrow in a convent of her Order.
If one nun could be so deceived, thought
Teresa, why not another ? Convinced as
she was of her own unworthiness, the extra
ordinary graces which God vouchsafed to her
only served to alarm her. She had heard that
the Jesuits were remarkable for their wisdom
and skill in the guidance of souls, and longed
to have recourse to them to set her doubts
at rest. But humility interfered once more.
CHRIST OR SATAN ? 4*
” I did not think myself fit to speak to them/
says the Saint, and the desire had to await
its fulfilment.
There lived in Avila a holy old man who was
dear to Teresa, not only on account of the
purity of his life, but because he had been the
intimate friend of her father. His name was
Don Francisco de Salcedo, and to him Teresa
resolved to confide her difficulty. Having
heard her to the end, he proposed that she
should submit the case to Doctor Caspar
Daza, a learned theologian and a friend of
his own. The interview which resulted was
not very satisfactory. Dr. Daza had not
time to undertake the direction of the Saint,
and could only give her some general advice,
while Teresa, who had not as yet that under
standing of spiritual things which was to be
her characteristic in later years, found great
difficulty in making her explanation clear.
An internal intuition, moreover, told her that
this was not the man to help her. Don
Francisco, greatly disappointed at the failure
of his enterprise, did his best to console her,
and suggested that she should write an
account of her spiritual experiences for Dr.
Daza to read. This, to the best of her ability,
she did, and gave the manuscript to her old
42 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
friend. The consequences were disastrous;
Don Francisco returned in the greatest dis
tress. Dr. Daza had read her confession,
he told her, and had come to the conclusion,
in which he himself was obliged to concur,
that her consolations were the work of the
evil one. The best thing for her to do would
be to put herself immediately under the
direction of a Jesuit.
Teresa was heart-broken; she did not even
dare to pray, for fear that the consolation
she might receive would be of the devil, and
Father de Padranos was asked to come at
once to the convent to hear her confession.
To the Jesuit the situation was perfectly
clear : he saw the grace of God working in a
soul that was pure, humble and straightfor
ward. What was going on in her, he said,
was the work of the Spirit of God; she was.
destined for great graces, and must do all
in her power to correspond with them. She
was to abandon herself with trust and con
fidence wholly into God s Hands.
Teresa breathed again; anguish was suc
ceeded by peace and joy, but her doubts
were to be still further set at rest. St. Francis
Borgia, the general of the Jesuits, came soon
afterwards to Avila to visit the College of
CHRIST OR SATAN ? 43
St. Giles, and at Father de Padranos request
went to the Incarnation to see her. The
Spirit of God was leading her, was his ver
dict; she might safely follow Its guidance.
Unfortunately for Teresa s future peace of
mind, Father Juan de Padranos was shortly
afterwards called away from Avila.
In the meanwhile, the number of nuns in
the Convent of the Incarnation was increas
ing rapidly. Finances did not increase at
the same rate, hence it was difficult to keep up
the house without continually appealing to
the families of the nuns for help. In order
to relieve the convent of the increasing burden,
its inmates were encouraged more and more
to visit their friends and relations, and were
even ordered to accept all invitations.
Teresa deplored the want of enclosure with
all her heart. Nothing was more contrary
to her inclinations than such visiting; but it
was the custom of the house, and she was
obliged to obey. While staying with one
of her cousins she had made the acquaintance
of Dona Guiomar de Ulloa, a young widow of
twenty-five, who, having lately lost her hus
band, had resolved to seek consolation in
God alone. Attracted by Teresa s charm
of manner no less than by her holiness, Doila
44 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
Guiomar had confided to her her hopes and
fears for the future, and a strong and super
natural friendship had arisen between them.
When the Saint returned to her convent it
was only to hear that Dona Guiomar had
sought and obtained permission to invite
her to her own house a few months later.
Teresa was struck when the two friends
met once more by the progress that Dona
Guiomar had made in the spiritual life. It
was entirely owing, she explained later, to
the direction of Father Baltasar Alvarez, a
young Jesuit whose holiness was known to
the whole town. Teresa, who desired to
share the benefit of such a guidance, asked
Father Baltasar to admit her among the num
ber of his penitents, and found in him a worthy
successor to Father Juan de Padranos. The
visit over, Teresa returned to the Convent
of the Incarnation rejoicing in the thought
that she would be free, for a time at least,
to live in peace with God in her own little cell.
But the people of Avila had begun to talk
about the extraordinary graces that were
being showered on this nun whom they had
known from girlhood. Dr. Daza was still
convinced that he had been right in his judg
ment, and Don Francisco de Salcedo had too
CHRIST OR SATAN ? 45
much confidence in his friend s learning to
believe that he could have been mistaken.
Both were sincerely interested in Teresa s
welfare, and were extremely anxious about
her condition. In their distress they talked
rather indiscreetly about things which, al
though they did not come under the seal of
confession, had been mentioned in confidence.
Some people went so far even as to warn
Father Baltasar Alvarez to be on his guard
against his penitent.
Although in his heart of hearts the Jesuit
was convinced that God alone was working
in Teresa s soul, he was humble enough to
think that he might be mistaken. He had
a great regard for both Caspar Daza and Fran
cisco de Salcedo; it was just possible that they
might be right and he wrong. In any case,
the test was easy: humility and obedience,
which are always present when God is work
ing in a soul, are conspicuously absent
when the work is of the devil. Father
Baltasar let it seem to Teresa that he was not
sure himself if she were not deceived by the
evil one. In any case, he told her, if she were
careful not to offend God, her consolations,
even if they were the work of Satan, would
not be able to hurt her. He ordered her to
46 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
pray less, to resist with all her might her
supernatural attractions, and deprived her
for nearly three weeks of Holy Communion.
” There was no comfort for me either in
Heaven or on earth/ cried the Saint in her
anguish; never had she suffered so cruelly.
But when the cloud was darkest the Divine
voice spoke in her soul. ” Be not afraid/ it
said/ it is I; I will not abandon thee; fear not/
” O my Lord, how true a Friend thou art !”
she cried; for all was now easy to bear. As
for Father Baltasar, while more and more
convinced that he had to deal with a Saint,
his direction increased in rigour. The thought
one day suggested itself to Teresa to choose
another director, who would let her pray in
peace; but her Divine Master reproved her
severely. ” Do not flatter thyself thou art
obedient/ He said, ” if thou art not prepared
to suffer.” Presently her Superiors forbade
her to read the spiritual books which helped
her soul the most. This tried her sorely,
but our Lord consoled her. ” Do not grieve,
my daughter,” He said; ” I will give thee a
living book . ” She soon learnt what He meant .
One day while praying she saw in a vision
Jesus Christ at her side, after which it seemed
to her that His invisible presence never left
CHRIST OR SATAN ? 47
.Jier. When she prayed He constantly ap
peared to her, ravishing her soul to ecstasy.
It was impossible to hide what was passing;
the nuns discussed it with their friends, and
people began to talk of exorcising the Saint
to deliver her from the deceits of the devil.
About this time Father Baltasar Alvarez
left Avila, recommending to Teresa during
his absence another confessor, who, on his
first interview with her, decided also that her
visions were the work of Satan. She must
make the sign of the Cross, he told her, when
ever they appeared, and repulse the evil one
with a gesture of contempt and horror.
Teresa herself could not doubt that it was
our Lord whom she saw and with whom she
spoke; how could she bring herself to treat
Him with horror and contempt ? Trem
bling, she asked herself the question, but to
her there was only one answer. Obedience
was His favourite virtue; He had been obe
dient unto death. But when the vision came
again a few days later, even as she made the
sign of the Cross and the prescribed gesture
of contempt, she fell at our Lord s feet,
beseeching Him with tears to pardon her.
Thou hast done well to obey/ was the
answer; ” I will make the truth known.”
CHAPTER V
PROBATION
” O my soul s Lord, who can find words to describe
what Thou art to those who trust in thee ?” ST. TERESA.
TERESA S outward life at this time was like
that of any other nun of the Incarnation.
Prayer and work and the exercises of the
common life succeeded each other as usual.
She was more forgetful of self and thoughtful
for others than anyone else in the house,
but she had always been so. The visions
and ecstasies with which God favoured her
took place during the quiet hours of prayer
in her own oratory, but this state of things
was not to last.
One day as the Saint knelt absorbed in
God she beheld at her side the vision of an
angel whose face shone like the sun. In his
hand he held a golden dart, the point of
which was all on fire, and which he plunged
several times into her heart. The love of
God, Teresa tells us, increased so much in
her soul after this miraculous transfixion that
48
PROBATION 49
she longed to die in order to be no more
separated from her Divine Master. Her
ecstasies and visions increased, and it became
harder than ever to hide the extraordinary
graces with which she was favoured. Some
times in the convent chapel before the whole
community she would be rapt in ecstasy and
raised above the ground, while the super
natural beauty of her face struck everybody
with awe. Strange lights shone about her
as she prayed, and were seen by many.
Teresa, whose one desire was to remain
hidden and unnoticed, implored of God that
He would cease to bestow on her these out
ward manifestations of His favour. She
sought as much as possible the solitude of her
own cell, where no one could be witness of
what passed between her and her Divine
Lord. Longing to do something for His
glory, to give herself to Him as He had given
Himself to her, and to satisfy the burning
love of her heart, she made, with her direc
tor s permission, a vow to do in all things
what would be most pleasing to His Majesty.
For many years God had been preparing
Teresa for the work which He had for her to
- The supreme test was yet to come; her
soul was to be tried as gold is tried in the fire.
4
50 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
The lights died out and the consolations
faded away. Suffering of soul succeeded to
suffering of body; all that had passed in her
hours of ecstasy seemed but the shadow of a
dream. Doubts, fears and scruples assailed
her. It seemed to her that she was the vilest
of sinners deceived herself, she was deceiv
ing others. So did the evil one seek to drive
her to despair, and was defeated in his
attempt. For He who had been blessed in
the time of joy was blessed also in the time of
sorrow. Teresa clung to the thought of His
mercy and praised His Holy Name.
The devil, jealous of the work of God, only
redoubled his attacks. Hideous apparitions
beset her, but Teresa, with the Cross in her
hand, defied the powers of evil. ” They can
do nothing without Christ s permission/
she would say contemptuously. ” What have
we to fear ?”
If the good people of Avila had been anxious
before, they were much more anxious now,
for rumours of what was passing transpired
through the nuns of the Incarnation. Cer
tain friends went as far as to tell Teresa that
she was possessed, but she answered them
with gentleness and humility: “You have
only to look at the results. I was poor, and
PROBATION 51
God has made me rich; everybody must
see how He has changed me. Never will I
believe that the devil could have given
me strength to fight against my faults and
to practise the opposite virtues. God has
given me courage to do and bear all things
for His sake. I was weak, and He has made
me strong/
The truth of her words could not be denied,
and God Himself was to bear testimony
to it.
Although there were many Saints in Spain
at that time, none was more revered than
St. Peter of Alcantara, a Franciscan friar
who had lived a rigorous life of prayer, fasting
and penance, devoting himself entirely to
the service of God and the salvation of sinners.
To his eyes the veils that hide the unseen
were transparent, and he could read men s
souls like a book. The news reached Dona
Guiomar that the holy Franciscan was en
gaged in a visitation of his Order, which would
bring him to Avila, and she determined that
Teresa should see him.
It was not difficult to obtain permission to
take her away from the convent for a short
visit, and the plan was immediately carried
into execution. The two Saints understood
52 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
each other at once. All Teresa s difficulties
were smoothed away, and her doubts com
pletely set at rest. God and God alone was
working in her, said St. Peter of Alcantara;
she need have no fear.
But the holy old man was not satisfied
with this. Rumours of the gossip in the town
had reached his ears, and he went straight to
Father Baltasar Alvarez, with whom he had
a long interview, and from whom he heard
much of Teresa s obedience and humility.
His next visit was to Don Francisco de Sal-
cedo, whom he succeeded in convincing of
the truth, and even managed to persuade
Dr. Daza that he had been mistaken. Before
leaving Avila he bade Teresa write to him
whenever she wanted counsel and advice,
and promised to do all that he could to help
her.
Consoled and strengthened, Teresa was
ready now to bear the worst. The verdict
of St. Peter of Alcantara was not without
its effects in Avila. The gossip died down,
and the nuns of the Incarnation at last began
to believe that they might possibly have a
Saint in their midst.
It was about this time that Teresa had a
fearful vision in which God showed her the
PROBATION 53
place in Hell that would have been hers had
she been unfaithful to His inspirations. ” All
the horrors I had ever seen,” cries the Saint,
” were nothing compared to that; I have no
words to express it. The most painful thing
of all was the certainty that such torment
is eternal, that there is no hope, no end to
- It only lasted a moment, but when I
think of it, my blood freezes in my veins.”
After the vision came the thought that
souls created like hers to know and love God
were daily falling into that place of torment.
” What can I do, O my Lord, to save them ?”
she cried in anguish. The answer came in
a secret inspiration.
A desire took shape in Teresa s heart to
lead a more mortified religious life; to keep
the Rule of Mount Carmel in all its old per
fection ; to pray day and night as the Carme
lites had prayed of old, before the Mitigated
Rule had made their life so easy. She pic
tured to herself a convent, poor as the cave
of Bethlehem, secluded, silent, full of ardent
souls who lived for God s glory and who
prayed for the work of Holy Church and for
the souls of sinners. Such was her dream
how far away it seemed !
* * * *
54 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
It was the feast of Our Lady of Mount
Carmel, and the guests that had been taking
part in the festivities at the convent were
dispersing to their homes. The day was
drawing to a close, and Teresa was hoping
for a quiet hour in her oratory, when Juana
Suarez, the friend of her girlhood, came to
her cell for a little talk. She was soon fol
lowed by Anne and Inez de Tapia, two cousins
of Teresa s, lately professed, and two of her
nieces who were being brought up at the con
vent Maria and Leonora de Ocampo.
The conversation went briskly; Maria de
Ocampo, a beautiful girl, whose charms were
set off to the best advantage, was full of
questions about the religious life. The two
young nuns spoke of the Feast, and of the
difficulty of preserving recollection amongst
so many visitors. ” Very well, then/ said
Maria decidedly, ” let all of us who are here
go to some other place where we can live a
solitary life like hermits; if we had courage
to do that, we could found a convent/
Teresa, surprised at such a suggestion from
such a quarter, asked where the money was
to come from. ” From me,” retorted Maria
promptly; “I will give part of my dowry.”
Her sister was enchanted, the two young nuns
PROBATION 55
not less so. Juana Suarez alone threw cold
water on the scheme; the difficulties, she
thought, would be too great. The question
was discussed with all the enthusiasm of
youth; plans were made and the little con
vent built in the imagination at least of
the company.
The next day when Dona Guiomar came to
the convent, Teresa laughingly told her of
the project of her young kinswomen. :< It is
the inspiration of God,” said Dona Guiomar,
“and I will help you to carry it out. Let
us pray over it until we can see what to do.”
For Teresa the most essential thing was
to know God s will in the matter, and she
earnestly prayed that He would make it clear.
One morning after Holy Communion, she
tells us, our Lord appeared to her and bade
her take the work to heart. The new convent
was to be dedicated to St. Joseph, and Teresa
was to consult Father Baltasar Alvarez and
tell him what had passed. The latter sug
gested that she should ask the advice of
Father Angel de Salasar, Provincial of the
Carmelites, whereupon Dona Guiomar under
took to lay their plans before him, while
Teresa wrote to St. Peter of Alcantara, St.
Francis Borgia, and the Dominican St. Louis
56 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
Bertrand, to ask their counsel. The reply
was unanimous; the three Saints blessed the
project and bade Teresa accomplish it as
quickly as possible. Dona Guiomar was
equally successful in her embassy; the Pro
vincial was encouraging, and promised to
take the new convent under his charge.
It seemed as if there were nothing left but
to find a house and to found the convent;
but this was not so easy. The nuns of the
Incarnation, as well as the people of Avila,
were quite contented with the Mitigated
Rule, and were highly indignant at the idea
that it could be improved upon. What was
the use, they asked, of going back to the
Primitive Rule, with all its hardships, its
solitude, and silence ? The idea was received
with ridicule. ” Let Teresa keep quiet in
her own convent/ said the townspeople,
” instead of trying to turn everything upside
down; and let Dona Guiomar mind her own
business and not get herself talked about/
Others said that Teresa was mad to think of
leaving a convent where she was so comfort
able. The storm of tongues grew apace;
nuns, priests and people were against the
idea. Every movement of the two friends
was watched and remarked upon; the whole
THE APPARITION OF THE HOLY CHILD TO ST. TERESA.
PROBATION 57
town was in a tumult. But Teresa was used
to suffering and contradiction. On a little
bookmarker that she kept in her breviary
she had written the following words. They
were the secret of her calm :
” Let nothing trouble thee;
Let nothing affright thee.
All things pass away;
God alone changes not ;
Patience obtains all things.
To him who possesses God
Nothing is wanting;
God alone suffices.”
It was necessary to seek in Avila itself a
wise counsellor who would give them his
support. They found him in Father Pedro
Ibafiez, first theologian of the Convent of
St. Dominic. He had been professor at the
University of Salamanca, and was a great
student ; he was, moreover, revered in Avila as
a Saint. When Teresa and Dona Guiomar
exposed their plans to him, having asked for
a week to think it over, he spent the time in
prayer. Certain people of the town warned
him to have nothing to do with the project,
but he had sought a better Counsellor. When
Teresa and Dona Guiomar returned a week
later the verdict was clear and decisive.
Father Pedro would give them all the help
in his power, for the work was of God.
CHAPTER VI
THE DIVINE MISSION
” With so good a Friend and Captain ever present,
Himself the first to suffer, everything can be borne.
He helps, He strengthens, He never fails; He is the true
Friend.” ST. TERESA.
THE most influential man in Avila having
pronounced himself in favour of Teresa s
enterprise, several others took courage to
come forward to her assistance. Don Fran
cisco de Salcedo and Caspar Daza offered to
do all in their power to help, and some of
the greatest enemies of the scheme were con
verted. An unassuming little house on the
outskirts of the town was for sale; negotia
tions were at once set on foot to buy it.
But things were not destined to go so
smoothly. As the excitement died down in
the town, it increased in the Convent of the
Incarnation, Teresa s desire to found a con
vent of the Primitive Rule was looked upon
by the nuns as a personal affront to them
selves. Some even suggested that she should
58
THE DIVINE MISSION 59
be kept in confinement ; others, but not many,
took her part; the discussions grew bitter.
Complaint after complaint was sent to the
Provincial, who began to regret that he had
ever consented to befriend the undertaking.
Weary at last of the continual worry, he told
Teresa that he considered himself obliged to
withdraw his permission to found, urging as
his reason that the opposition was too great,
and that the money promised was not suffi
cient. Teresa, nothing daunted, told Father
Baltasar of the refusal, and asked him what
she should do. She was to obey, he answered,
and give up all thought of the foundation.
It seemed for the moment as if Teresa s
efforts and sufferings had been in vain, but
her faith was great. If it was God s will that
the convent should be founded, she reflected,
it would certainly be done. In the meantime,
her business was obedience, and she resolved
to practise it as perfectly as possible. Neither
in word nor in thought would she allow herself
to revert to the project that had been so dear
to her heart; in silence and in peace she went
about her usual work at the convent. When
Father Ibafiez came to see her she spoke to
him of God and of the spiritual life, but not
one word on the subject of the foundation.
60 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
It seemed as if she had completely forgotten
that such an idea had ever existed, but Father
Ibanez knew that this could not be so, and
was greatly impressed by her obedience.
Although Teresa had obeyed, her friends
were under no such obligation. Dona Guio-
mar, at Father Ibanez suggestion, had applied
to Rome for a brief authorizing the founda
tion; Don Francisco and Gaspar Daza were
also at work, and Teresa s docility seemed to
be bringing a blessing on their endeavours.
Six months had passed when Father Ibanez
suddenly resolved to leave Avila to devote
himself in silence and solitude to a life of
prayer. His departure seemed a serious loss
to the little group of workers, but God was
to provide for Teresa another friend, who
was destined to take his place. The rector
of the College of St. Giles was shortly after
wards withdrawn, and Father Gaspar de
Salazar, a strong, wise, and holy man, was
put in his place. Father Baltasar Alvarez
hastened to seek his advice with regard to
St. Teresa, who was presently ordered to
give the rector an account of her soul and
of the supernatural manifestations that she
had received. This was a thing which the
Saint disliked extremely, but no sooner had
THE DIVINE MISSION 61
she entered the confessional than she was at
peace. A secret intuition that Father Caspar
would understand and help her made every
thing easy.
Teresa was not mistaken. God had given
Father Caspar a special grace for the read
ing of souls. He bade the Saint s confessor
give her more liberty and fear nothing; the
Spirit of God was there. A little later the
Saint received an order from our Lord to
speak to Father Caspar on the subject of
the new foundation. ” Bid him meditate,”
said her Divine Master, ” on the words, O
Lord, how great are Thy works ! Thy
thoughts are exceeding deep. ” Father de
Salazar did so, and during his prayer saw the
whole enterprise in the light of God. That
very day he told Teresa that the Divine Will
had been made known to him; she must go
on with the undertaking.
It was agreed that they should work in
secret, for the nuns of the Incarnation had
prejudiced the Provincial so strongly against
the project that it would have been worse
than useless to appeal to him again. The
state of affairs seemed anything but promis
ing. Teresa was watched and distrusted by
her sisters in religion; the required funds were
62 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
not forthcoming; there was much to be done,
and she alone could do it. ” Ah, my beloved
Master,” she cried, ” why do You command
me to do impossible things ? What can I
do ? What am I good for ? I have neither
money nor knowledge.”
But there is something more necessary
than either money or knowledge to succeed
in God s work, and that is holiness. At her
Saviour s feet Teresa found courage to endure
for her Lord s sake all the difficulties that
lay before her.
Her first step was to write to her sister
Juana, married to a young nobleman of Alba,
Don Juan de Ovalle, to ask if her husband
could come to Avila and conclude the bargain
for the little house they had in view. He
came at once, and bought the house in his
own name, taking up his abode in it with his
wife, which made it possible for Teresa to
visit them and so to make her plans. But
the young couple were not rich, and could
give little more than their good will. Part
of the price at least must be paid down, and
workmen would have to be hired at once to
set the place in order.
Teresa as usual had recourse to prayer.
As she prayed, St. Joseph appeared to her
THE DIVINE MISSION 63
and bade her put the work in hand, for the
money would be forthcoming when required.
The workmen were accordingly engaged, plans
made, and the necessary alterations begun.
A few days later the Saint received a present
of a large sum of money from her brother
Lorenzo in Peru. She was thus able to pay
both the workmen and the creditors.
The house which they had bought was so
small that it seemed impossible to turn it
into a convent, and Teresa was greatly puzzled
how to fit in the dormitory and recreation-
room, not to mention the little chapel. While
she was trying to solve the difficulty our
Lord spoke to her. ” Have I not already told
theetogoin?” He said. ” How often have I
slept in the open air because I had no roof
to shelter me.”
Teresa humbled herself at her Divine
Master s feet, and went back to the task with
fresh courage; this time everything seemed
simple, and she saw at once how she could
manage.
The presence of the workmen made the
small house rather a comfortless dwelling for
Juana and her husband, but neither of them
thought of complaining. Their little son
Gonsalvo, aged five, was playing one day
64 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
amongst the workmen s materials when part
of a wall that was being knocked down fell
upon him. Crushed and senseless, the child
lay under the ruins for several hours, and was
at last found by his father, who, thinking him
dead, carried him into the house in speechless
anguish and laid him on Teresa s knees.
The Saint bent her head over the inanimate
little body, lowered her veil, and prayed
silently. Presently Gonsalvo opened his eyes,
smiled, sat up, and threw his little arms
round his aunt s neck. ” Do not be troubled,”
said Teresa to her sister, who was kneeling
beside her, weeping bitterly. “Here is your
son, take him.” Both Juana and her husband
believed that their child had been given back
to them through Teresa s prayers.
Another strange accident showed that the
evil one was doing all in his power to hinder
the work. A strong wall which had just
been carefully built fell suddenly during the
night. ” It will have to be rebuilt,” said
Teresa serenely when she heard the news.
” But we have not the money,” objected
Dona Guiomar. ” It will come,” replied the
Saint; and it did, that very day. Don Juan
was for making the workmen rebuild it at
their own expense, but Teresa would not
THE DIVINE MISSION 65
hear of it. ” Poor men !” she said. ” It is
not their fault. I know whose doing it is.
What efforts Satan makes to prevent the
work ! But it will be carried through in
spite of him/ The building was indeed
getting on, and the transformation of the
house was nearly complete. It had been
turned into the poorest little convent con
ceivable. Teresa s dreams seemed at last
on the verge of fulfilment.
But in spite of all the care taken to preserve
secrecy, suspicions had arisen of what was
going on. There was danger that these might
come to the ears of the Provincial, and that
he would order Teresa to give up the enter
prise. In that case, she would have to obey,
and the work would be brought to a standstill.
Our Lord, however, had His own ways of
providing against this difficulty.
Although Teresa was not appreciated in
her native town, rumours of her holiness had
reached as far as Toledo. St. Peter of Alcan
tara had borne witness to her sanctity, no
less than St. Francis Borgia and Father Pedro
Ibanez. It began to be whispered about that
there was a nun in the little town of Avila
whose power of prayer was so great that God
granted everything she asked of Him.
5
66 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
One of the greatest ladies of Toledo, Luisa,
Duchess de la Cerda, had just lost her husband.
It was her first great sorrow; the world which
had hitherto smiled so brightly upon her
seemed to be changed into a desolate wilder
ness. So great was her grief that her life
was despaired of, when someone spoke to
her of Teresa. Surely, thought the young
Duchess in her anguish, a soul so beloved of
God would have comfort for a sorrow such as
hers. She wrote to Father Angel de Salasar,
the Provincial of the Carmelites, to ask if
the Saint might pay her a visit.
Teresa s surprise was great when she
received an order from the Provincial to go
to Toledo to be the guest of the widowed
Duchess de la Cerda, who hoped for consola
tion from her presence. How could the
Duchess have heard of her existence, she
asked herself, and what would be the result
if she left the work that was just about to be
brought successfully to a close ? She sought
counsel of her Divine Master, and heard in
an ecstasy our Lord speaking to her. ” Go,
daughter,” He said; ct pay no attention to
those who would detain you. Fear not, I
will be with you.”
Father Gaspar de Salazar, hearing from
THE DIVINE MISSION 67
Teresa of the order she had received and of
our Lord s injunctions, urged her to start at
once. Confiding therefore the completion
of the convent to her sister and brother-in-
law, she set out for Toledo, accompanied by
a nun of the Convent of the Incarnation and
with Don* Juan de Ovalle as escort.
CHAPTER VII
SILENCE AND PATIENCE
” Let us somewhat resemble our King, Who had no
house save the stable at Bethlehem, wherein He was
born, and the Cross on which He died.” ST. TERESA.
TERESA found Dona Luisa de la Cerda in
bed, exhausted with the violence of her grief,
and refusing all consolation. The Saint set
to work at once to comfort her both in soul
and body, and after a few days succeeded
in inducing her to accept the Divine will with
love and generosity. The young Duchess
resolved to spend the rest of her life in the
service of God and in good works, and felt
sure that no one could teach her to do so as
well as Teresa. Her new friend must stay with
her, she declared, until she was strong enough
to stand alone. Her love and veneration
for the Saint showed itself in ways that were
often more of a cross to her guest than any
thing else. The humble Carmelite was
treated in the palace of the Duchess as if she
had been a queen; everybody bowed before
68
SILENCE AND PATIENCE 69
her and did her honour; her slightest wish
was consulted.
To Teresa, whose only desire was to live
in her little convent of St. Joseph in the
poverty and simplicity of Bethlehem, life in
a palace with its pomp and etiquette was a
kind of martyrdom. But if the adulation
of the members of the great household made
small impression on the Saint, her holiness
had much effect on them. Everyone came
to seek her advice and to ask her questions.
The relations and friends of Dona Luisa wanted
always to be with her, for she had help and
counsel for all. Amongst them was a young
girl, Maria de Salazar, distinguished no less
for her wit than for her beauty. It was
not long before Teresa s eyes had pierced
through the worldly and brilliant exterior
and read in Maria s heart a long-cherished
wish to give herself to God in religion. ” Are
these quite fit,” she said one day gently,
touching the rich jewels which served to set
off the young girl s beauty, ” for one who
desires to be the bride of Christ ?” Maria,
who had told no one of her secret, was greatly
astonished; but Teresa, who saw in her an
ardent and generous soul, meet to help her
in her plan of reform, did all she could to
7 o LIFE OF ST. TERESA
ground her in the principles of religious
life.
It was while Teresa was at Toledo that
she made the acquaintance of Mother Mary
of Jesus, a Carmelite nun of Granada, who,
like herself, had long cherished the plan of
founding a convent of the Primitive Rule.
She had just returned from Rome, whither
she had gone with the permission of her
Superiors to obtain a brief from the Pope
authorizing her foundation. She had then
heard of Teresa s undertaking, and had set
out at once for Toledo to see her. The two
nuns talked long and earnestly of the project
that was so dear to their hearts. Mother
Mary was both holy and austere, but she had
neither Teresa s breadth of mind nor her
intelligence. Her work was not to prosper
until it had been incorporated with that of
the Saint.
From the Carmelite of Granada Teresa
learnt something unknown to her before
handthat the Primitive Rule forbade the
endowment of monasteries. She determined,
therefore, to start her little foundation without
revenues; but when her friends at Avila
heard of this resolve, there was a general out
cry; all were against it. It so happened that
SILENCE AND PATIENCE 71
St. Peter of Alcantara, passing through Toledo
at that moment, went to see Teresa, who told
him all about her project and the remon
strances of her friends. The holy Franciscan
was too great a lover of poverty to agree with
them ; he encouraged Teresa in her determina
tion to found without endowment. Shortly
afterwards, our Lord Himself intimated to
the Saint that it was His will that she should
do so, and those who had been so much against
it came round in the end to the same view.
The days were long past when the constant
distractions amongst which she lived in Dona
Luisa s palace would have disturbed Teresa s
recollection. She prayed at Toledo as she
had prayed at Avila, and her ecstasies and
visions continued. Although she sought with
the greatest care to conceal these favours
from those around her, she was not always
successful. People surprised her sometimes
while the Divine light was still shining from
her face and her thoughts were wholly rapt
in God.
One day a servant who had long suffered
from severe pains in the head and ears begged
the Saint to make the sign of the Cross on
her forehead. ” What are you thinking of ?”
cried Teresa. ” Make the sign of the Cross
72 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
yourself.” But even as she pushed the
woman gently away, her hand accidentally
touched the aching head, and the pain was
instantly cured.
In the meantime, the Duchess was becoming
more and more attached to her new friend,
and it began to seem as if Teresa s stay at
Toledo might be prolonged indefinitely. The
Provincial made no step to recall her to Avila,
and her friends were losing heart. Juana
had gone home to Alba, leaving her husband
as guardian of the unfinished convent, and
he, uncertain what to do, suddenly resolved
to go to Toledo to ask Teresa s advice. It
was decided that it would be better for him
to go back to his wife after having made a
few necessary arrangements at Avila. But
no sooner had Don Juan returned to the
little convent than he was suddenly seized
with fever.
It was at this moment that Teresa received
permission from the Provincial to return to
her convent. In spite of Dona Luisa s lamen
tations, the Saint set out for Avila, and
passing by St. Joseph s on her way, found
her brother-in-law ill and in great need of
assistance. Obedience obliged her to return
direct to the Incarnation, but she promised
SILENCE AND PATIENCE 73
to come back as soon as she could to nurse
him, and found no difficulty in obtaining
permission to do so.
Teresa realized in a moment how God had
blessed her enterprise during her absence.
The brief had just arrived from Rome author
izing the foundation of the little Convent of
St. Joseph. It was to be a house of the
Primitive Rule under the jurisdiction of the
diocesan Bishop of Avila, and nobody else
was to interfere with its affairs.
The Saint decided that now was the moment
to found. Many of her most devoted friends
happened at that moment to be in Avila.
St. Peter of Alcantara was the guest of Don
Francisco de Salcedo; Dr. Caspar Daza and
Father Caspar de Salazar, rector of the Jesuit
College of St. Giles, were both present in the
town, together with the Bishop, Monsignor
Alvaro de Mendoza.
The building was pushed on to completion,
while a private meeting, presided over by
St. Peter of Alcantara, was held to decide
what was to be the first step in the matter.
It was unanimously agreed that the Bishop s
approval must be sought without delay, and
the case was laid before him; but when he
learnt that it was proposed to found the
74 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
convent without endowment, he refused his
sanction. St. Peter of Alcantara was ill in
bed when the bad news was brought to him.
Worn out with his long life of penance, his
health was failing fast, and he knew that he
was near his end, but his spirit was as daunt
less as ever. Rising, he announced his in
tention of going himself to see the Bishop;
and as his legs were too weak to support him,
he had himself set on a mule, and so made
his way to the episcopal residence. To such
a petitioner Monsignor de Mendoza could
refuse nothing; he agreed to take the founda
tion under his jurisdiction and to protect it
against all attacks.
Before leaving Avila the holy Franciscan
visited the convent. ” This is indeed a
house of Joseph, a true cave of Bethlehem,”
he said, delighted with its poverty.
In the meantime, the building was pro
gressing rapidly. On the very day it was
finished Don Juan s fever left him, and he
understood what God had done. ” It is not
necessary for me to be ill any more,” he said,
laughing, and took lodgings in the town, that
Teresa might be more at liberty to make her
arrangements. The next thing was to collect
the little community. The first postulants
SILENCE AND PATIENCE 75
were Antonia de Henao, a connection of the
Saint s, proposed by St. Peter of Alcantara,
Maria de Paz, an adopted child of Dona
Guiomar s, Ursula de Revilla, a penitent of
Dr. Daza s, and Maria, a sister of Father
Julian of Avila, a young priest who was to
be the chaplain of the little convent.
On the feast of St. Bartholomew these
first foundation-stones of the Reformed Car
melites arrived at St. Joseph s, and were
welcomed by Teresa, who at once led them
to the chapel. There, in the presence of
the few faithful friends who had championed
the undertaking, Mass was said by Dr. Daza,
the Bishop s delegate, and the Blessed Sacra
ment placed in the tabernacle. The rough
habits of the Reform were then blessed; the
postulants were clothed; the Te Deum was
chanted; and the dream of Teresa s life was
accomplished. Prostrate before the altar, the
newly-made novices poured out their hearts
in love and gratitude to God, while the Saint,
rapt in ecstasy, seemed to be already in
heaven.
Teresa had long ago determined that in
order to efface all differences of rank in the
nuns of the Reformed Carmel, they should
take symbolic names borrowed from the
76 LIFE OF ST TERESA
Saints and angels or from the mysteries of
our Lord s life. Antonia de Henao therefore
became Antonia of the Holy Ghost; Ursula
de Revilla, Ursula of the Saints; Maria de
Paz, Maria of the Cross; and Father Julian s
sister, Maria of St. Joseph. To Teresa s
great regret she could not herself assume the
rough habit and coarse sandals prescribed by
the Primitive Rule, for she was still personally
under the jurisdiction of the Provincial.
Even her permission to remain at St. Joseph s
might be any day withdrawn, granted, as it
had been, that she might nurse her brother-
in-law, who was now strong and well.
Father Daza and his friends had left, the
ceremony was long over, but Teresa could
not tear herself away from the Tabernacle.
The little convent was at last founded; the
Rule of Carmel was at last to be practised in
all its perfection; that which God had com
manded had been done. The evil one, beaten
at every point, was to make one last attempt
on the chosen soul who had been appointed
to carry out God s plans. Teresa was sud
denly assailed with anguish as Satan suggested
to her that she had made the foundation
without her Superior s consent. The com
mands of our Lord Himself, the counsel of
SILENCE AND PATIENCE 77
His saints, the sanction of her director, the
brief from Rome all were forgotten. Doubts
and fears overwhelmed her. How would
these delicately nurtured young girls be able
to stand the austerities of the Primitive Rule ?
How would the convent be provided for,
founded as it was without endowment ? How
could she herself, weak in health, bear the
new life in all its strictness ? So did the
tempter seek to drive her to despair; but
Teresa called on her Divine Master, and the
clouds at last began to break. Had she not
asked our Lord to let her suffer for His sake ?
What then was to be feared ?
Summoning all her courage, Teresa pro
mised before the Tabernacle that she would
not rest until she had obtained permission
from her Superiors to live entirely at St.
Joseph s. As she made the promise, the
temptation left her.
CHAPTER VIII
- JOSEPH S
” A cowardly soul, afraid of anything but sin against
God, is a very unseemly thing, when we have on our
side the King omnipotent.” ST. TERESA.
THE news that the Convent of St. Joseph had
been actually founded spread through Avila
like wildfire. The poorer people in their
simple faith hailed it with joy, but those who
from the first had been against it gave full
vent to their indignation, and did all in their
power to influence the public against it.
This unendowed convent, they cried, would
take the bread out of the mouths of the poor;
it was a novelty, moreover, and the interests
of the town demanded that it should be
suppressed at once. “If the Moors had
invaded Avila,” said Father Julian, ” and
set the whole town on fire, the disturbance
could scarcely have been greater.”
When the news reached the Convent of
the Incarnation, Teresa was severely blamed.
She was insulting the whole Order, cried the
78
- JOSEPH S 79
nuns, by attempting to lead a more perfect
life than its other members, and the Prioress
was induced to order her instant return to
the Incarnation.
It was hard to leave the young novices
alone, but Teresa s first thought was obe
dience. Having blessed and embraced her
little family, she commended it to our Lord
and St. Joseph, placed Ursula of the Saints
in charge of the small household, and departed.
No sooner had she arrived at the Incarnation
than she was summoned before the Prioress
and the elder members of the community
to explain her conduct. She gently answered
all the questions put to her, excused herself
in no way for what she had done, and asked
pardon, if she had been in any way to blame.
It was then decided that she should be ques
tioned by the Provincial, and Father Angel
was hastily summoned. Before the assembled
nuns he rebuked Teresa sharply for her action,
but not a word in her own defence passed
her lips. Standing before them all like a
culprit, she humbly listened to what Father
de Salasar had to say, begging only that she
might be punished and then forgiven.
The Provincial, touched by Teresa s hu
mility, counselled indulgence, but of this the
8o LIFE OF ST. TERESA
nuns would not hear. Her doings were a
source of scandal to the town, they declared;
she was the most imperfect amongst them
all, and had only founded the monastery
that people might think well of her. To
these accusations Teresa only replied that
it was perfectly true, that she was the greatest
sinner in the convent.
Father de Salasar was thoroughly per
plexed; turning at last to Teresa, he bade her
declare before the assembled company the
reasons that had moved her to act as she had
done. The simple eloquence of her reply
impressed him so much that, dismissing the
nuns, he ordered her to speak to him fully
of all that had passed between her Divine
Master and herself, the counsel she had taken,
and the means she had employed.
Father Angel was an upright man and a
good religious. As he listened to Teresa s
humble recital and realized how careful she
had been not to act in any way against
obedience, he was as much prejudiced in
her favour as he had been against her. Dis
missing her at last with his blessing, he
promised to allow her to return to St. Joseph s
as soon as the turmoil had subsided.
There was no sign, however, of this. A
- JOSEPH S 81
meeting was held in the town hall by the
people of Avila, at which it was decided that
the new convent should be suppressed and
the novices sent back to their homes. When
told of this decision the little community
flatly refused to obey; they appealed to their
God and to the King. They were under the
jurisdiction of the Bishop alone, they said,
and he alone could dismiss them.
The Governor, nothing daunted, held
another meeting, at which it was declared that
the convent had been founded without the
consent of the town, and was on this account
illegal. The Blessed Sacrament must there
fore be removed, the nuns expelled, and the
house pulled down. The order was about
to be given when a learned Dominican, Father
Bafiez, rose to his feet and addressed the
people. Teresa de Ahumada, he explained,
was unknown to him except by name; he
had never even seen her; he was therefore
wholly unbiassed in the matter. ” But it
is a marvel to me,” he continued, ” that the
townspeople of Avila can believe that a few
poor women hidden in their cells should
constitute a danger to the public or be a
burden on the town. What is the reason of
this meeting? Is there an enemy at our
6
82 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
gates ? Is the town on fire ? Are plague
and famine amongst us ? No. Four humble
Carmelites are praying in an obscure quarter
of the city. Moreover, the Bishop alone has
power to deal with the question, for the Holy
See has placed the convent under his juris
diction. Let those who think the foundation
illegal make their complaints to him.”
Father Banez was a man of weight in Avila ;
his opinion was respected, and for the moment
the danger was averted. The Governor was
obliged to give way, and the meeting was
dispersed; but the Saint s enemies were
determined not to be beaten. They did all
in their power to induce the Provincial and
the Prioress of the Incarnation to compel
Teresa to submit to their will, and the storm
raged on without abating.
The Saint s friends were not idle either.
Father Julian of Avila, who had constituted
himself Teresa s devoted squire and chaplain,
went backwards and forwards between St.
Joseph s and the Convent of the Incarnation,
bringing Teresa news of her daughters and
returning with words of comfort and consola
tion to the orphaned community. Father
Gaspar Daza was also watching over the new
foundation, zealously training the novices
- JOSEPH S 83
in the ways of the spiritual life, while Don
Francisco de Salcedo provided for their
temporal necessities.
The authorities of Avila finally decided to
lay the case before the King s Council. Many
of Teresa s friends interested themselves in
her cause, and the lawsuit ended in a complete
triumph for the Reform, the Council blaming
the Governor severely for his action in the
matter. It only remained for Teresa to
obtain permission to return to St. Joseph s,
but this the Provincial hesitated to grant.
Father Pedro Ibanez, who had befriended the
Saint at the beginning of her enterprise, and
who was back for a short time in Avila, did
all in his power on her behalf. Even the
Bishop, Don Alvaro de Mendoza, wrote to
Father de Salasar, but with no effect. Teresa
at last took the matter into her own hands.
Beware, my Father, of resisting the Holy
Ghost,” she said one day solemnly to the
Provincial. At her words his hesitation
vanished. He not only gave her permission
to return herself to St. Joseph s, but even
allowed her to take with her some nuns from
the Incarnation who wished to join the Reform.
Who shall describe the joy at the little
convent as Teresa crossed the threshold !
84 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
Her first visit was to the chapel to thank
God for all His mercies and to offer herself
and her little flock to Him for ever. There
at the foot of the Tabernacle she saw in a
vision her Lord, who, stooping lovingly to
wards her, placed a crown on her head and
blessed her for what she had done in His
service. Then the Saint, together with her
companions from the Incarnation, put on
the coarse habit and the rough sandals of
the Reform. Dona Teresa de Ahumada was
now Teresa of Jesus.
And what of the little convent that she had
founded ? Father Julian of Avila, who wrote
the history of the foundation forty-two years
later, says:
” God willed to have a house in which He
could recreate Himself; a house in which He
could take up His abode; a garden in which
flowers should grow not of the kind which
blow on earth, but those which bloom only
in Heaven.”
It was truly the little sanctuary of which
Teresa had dreamed; a place of prayer and
penance for the salvation of souls, where
God was served in perfect fidelity.
The thought of the end for which the
convent had been founded was ever present
- JOSEPH S 85
with the Saint. ” Let us help by our prayers/
she would say to her novices, ” the apostolic
men who are working in the world to save
sinners, for they are the servants of our
King. If we contribute to their success by
our prayers we shall also have fought, we in
our solitude, for God s cause.”
Mortification, obedience and humility were
the virtues Teresa required of her daughters,
together with a holy joy and freedom of
heart in God s service. The different duties
of the little household were divided amongst
its inmates, Teresa taking her turn in the
kitchen with the others, and working harder
than them all. It was remarked that when
it was her turn to cook, everything that she
needed seemed to come as if by magic. It
was as if our Lord, knowing how she delighted
in making a little feast for her daughters,
took care to provide the means. On other
days when the fare was scanty, she would so
speak to them of the love of God that their
hearts were all on fire and every privation
was forgotten. When the nuns were not
at prayer or chanting the Divine Office, they
spent their time in spinning or mending;
every moment was turned to account, for
idleness, as Teresa well knew, opens a door to
86 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
many evils. The recreations, presided over
by the Saint, were full of gaiety and holy joy.
Teresa could not bear melancholy. ” A sad
nun is a bad nun,” she would often say, and
a depressing or depressed postulant had small
chance of admittance at St. Joseph s.
No one knew better than she the weakness
of human nature, and the dangers of giving
way to fussiness about health. She had
learnt by her own experience that God blesses
courage in this respect, and advised her
daughters to practise it. When they were
really ill, she bade them say so simply, but
as for trifling ailments, it was best to think
as little about them as possible. ” I beg of
you, my children, to bear your little ills in
silence/ she would say to her novices; ” they
are sometimes only the effect of the imagina
tion. The more we give in the worse we
get.” In the time of real suffering they were
to lift up their thoughts to Heaven. “How
sweet it will be for us at the hour of death/
she cries, ” to go to be judged by Him whom
we have loved above all things ! . . . What
happiness to think we are not going to a
strange country, but to our own, since it is
the home of that beloved Spouse whom we love
so much, and by whom we are so much loved !”
- JOSEPH S 87
The Bishop of Avila, Don Alvaro de Men-
doza, visited the convent frequently, and was
delighted with the fervour of its inmates.
One day he brought with him a beautiful
crucifix, which Teresa begged leave to show
to the community. She had returned to
the parlour and was talking to the Bishop,
when the sound of voices singing led her to
open the door leading into the cloister. A
little procession had been formed by the
novices, at the head of which marched the
youngest postulant holding the crucifix aloft,
and singing the litany of the Holy Name.
Instead, however, of ” Have mercy on us/ 1
they were chanting fervently, ” Stay with us.”
The application was obvious, and Teresa was
a little ashamed of her daughters, but the
Bishop only laughed. Needless to say, the
crucifix remained at St. Joseph s.
In the autumn of 1566 a holy missionary,
Father Maldonado, came to see Teresa. He
had just returned from the West Indies, and
had sad tales to tell of the ignorance and vice
of the natives. For some days after his
departure the Saint could do nothing but
pray to God to help these poor souls, that
they might not be lost eternally. As she
knelt weeping before the Tabernacle our
88 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
Lord appeared and said to her, Wait a
little while, my daughter, and great things
shall be revealed to you.”
Six months later the Saint heard that
Father John Baptist Rubeo, General of the
Order of Mount Carmel, was on his way to
Spain to visit the houses of his Order. She
was not without fear that the General might
diaspprove of her reform and use his authority
to order her to return to the Incarnation;
so bidding her daughters pray, she sent him
a humble invitation to visit St. Joseph s.
Now the General, who was a wise and holy
man, had come to Spain at the request of the
King, with the intention of introducing certain
reforms among the Spanish Carmelites. At
St. Joseph s he found all he had dreamed of
and more the very spirit of Carmel in all
its ancient integrity. It was the desire of
his heart, he said to Teresa, that such a seed
should take root and spread; it was the very
realization of all his hopes. Amongst the
houses of the Mitigated Rule he found little
zeal for reform, and returned frequently
during the time of his stay in Spain to talk
over difficulties and discuss plans with the
Saint. His wish was that she should found
other convents of the Primitive Rule, holding
- JOSEPH S 89
their authority straight from the Generals of
the Order, and this he gave her leave to do
in any places in the province of Castile where
the Ordinary of the diocese would give
permission.
Don Alvaro de Mendoza, the Bishop, was
very anxious to found houses of the Primitive
Rule for men also, but here the General
hesitated. The time, he said, was not quite
ripe for such an undertaking; it would come
later. He had already set out on his return
journey to Rome when he received a message
from Teresa earnestly begging that he would
grant the Bishop s request. To her he could
refuse nothing. Permission was therefore
given to found two monasteries of the Primi
tive Rule for men, on the condition that the
Provincial gave his consent.
CHAPTER IX
FOUNDATIONS
” For my part, I think that the rule of being able
to bear much or little is that of love.” ST. TERESA.
THE time had come when Teresa was to leave
the sweet solitude of St. Joseph s, the life of
prayer and silence that she loved so much.
The work of the foundations lay before her,
with its long journeys, its weary correspon
dence, its complicated business affairs, its
trials and its troubles. There is a belief
abroad in the world that a life of prayer and
contemplation tends to make people vague
and unpractical: the last ten years of St.
Teresa s life are a standing proof to the con
trary. Hers was a wisdom, an insight, and
a power wholly unknown to those who live
only in the world of matter; in everything
she undertook she succeeded.
About twenty miles distant from Avila
lay the little town of Medina del Campo,
chosen by Teresa for many reasons as the
site of her second foundation. The Jesuits
90
FOUNDATIONS 91
were already established there, and their
rector, Father Baltasar Alvarez, Teresa s
old friend, had promised to support the
undertaking. The Prior of the Carmelites
of the Mitigated Rule, Father Antonio de
Heredia, was also strongly in their favour,
and had promised to find them a house. The
one that he bought, however, was in such
ill repair that it was impossible to go into
it; Father Julian of Avila was therefore sent
to Medina to hire a lodging in which the
nuns could live until it was ready.
In the middle of August Teresa set out,
accompanied by her niece Maria de Ocampo,
now Sister Maria Bautista, and Sister Anne
of the Angels, both from the Convent of St.
Joseph s, and four nuns of the Incarnation
who wished to join the Reform. They were
half-way on their journey and close to the
little town of Arevalo, where they were to
spend the night, when they were met by a
messenger from Father Julian. The pro
prietor of the little house he had hired, which
was close to the Augustinian Convent in
Medina, declared that the Augustinians ob
jected to the Carmelites as neighbours, and
that he could not hold to his bargain.
Here was indeed a calamity. What was
92 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
to be done ? To return to Avila, they all
decided, was out of the question. While
her daughters slept Teresa prayed, and in
the morning came the solution. Father
Antonio de Heredia, who, eager to welcome
the Saint, had come to Arevalo to escort her
on her way, suggested that they should go
direct to the house which he had bought.
It was out of repair, it is true, but not too far
gone to afford them shelter; they could call
on the way at his own monastery of St. Anne s
for all they required for the chapel; Mass
could then be said and the convent founded
at once.
The plan sounded possible; the little com
pany set out for Medina. It was near mid
night when they reached St. Anne s, stopped
to collect the furniture for the chapel, and,
reinforced by two of Father Antonio s friars,
set off again on foot through the town, looking,
as Father Julian merrily remarked, exactly
like a caravan of gipsies who had robbed a
church. Luckily, they met few people, and
proceeded unnoticed until they reached a
tumble-down old house facing on to the
street. This was their future convent. Father
Antonio must have been suffering from
temporary blindness, thought St. Teresa,
FOUNDATIONS 93
when he had judged it fit for habitation.
Nevertheless, there they were, and the chapel
had to be got ready. Father Antonio and
the two friars set to work with a will. The
rubbish was cleared out, the palace swept,
hangings fixed; everybody did their best,
and by daybreak all was ready. A tiny bell
rang for the first Mass, and the people, greatly
astonished to find that a new convent had
been founded during the night, came flocking
into the little chapel. The nuns assisted from
behind the staircase door, for there was no
grille and the place was crowded. Teresa s
soul was flooded with joy at the thought that
her Divine Master had another sanctuary on
earth, and all trials were forgotten.
But when the Mass was over and their
new abode appeared in the searching light of
day, the Saint saw what the darkness of the
night had mercifully hidden. The chapel
was on the street, and seeing the state of
dilapidation of the whole building, anyone
might have got in; the house seemed to be
tottering to its ruin. But the sight of the
poverty of the new foundation only served to
increase the devotion of the people, who
continued to flock to the little chapel to
pray. Teresa set men to watch by night,
94 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
for fear of thieves, and watched herself, lest
the men should sleep. A week later a rich
merchant of Medina kindly offered the upper
floor of his house to the nuns while the neces
sary repairs were carried out.
Father Antonio de Heredia, the Prior of
St. Anne s, continued to befriend the convent,
and when Teresa mentioned her intention
of founding a house of the Primitive Rule
for men, immediately offered himself as her
first subject. A few days later the Saint
received a visit from a holy old friar who had
also heard of the project. He came to
recommend to her notice a young religious
who, not content with the Mitigated Rule,
had resolved to join the Carthusians. The
next day, Father John of St. Matthias, as
the young friar was called, made his ap
pearance in person. Teresa was delighted
with him; his modesty, wisdom and piety,
added to his diminutive stature, gave him
something of the air of an angelic child.
” I had a religious and a half,” Teresa would
say, laughing, when she told the story in
later years, ” wherewith to start the Reform.”
But the ” half -religious,” known to history
as St. John of the Cross, was to be the very
prop and stay of the whole undertaking.
FOUNDATIONS 95
The Saint bade him continue his theological
studies for a year, until the time should be
ripe for the foundation.
In the meantime, Don Bernardino de
Mendoza, younger brother of the Bishop of
Avila, had offered Teresa a house and garden
if she would found a convent at Valladolid.
Scarcely had she accepted his offer when her
old friend Dona Luisa de la Cerda came to
Medina to beg the Saint to make a foundation
on her property at Malagon. This Teresa
did not see her way to do, and refused. She
then set out for Alcala, whither she had been
entreated to go by a lady of the Court of
Philip II., who had helped Mother Mary of
Jesus to found there her new Convent of
the Reform. The foundation was not pros
pering owing to the excessive austerities of
the foundress, who wrote herself begging
Teresa to come and teach her the true spirit
of the Order.
Such a humble plea could not be refused.
The Master s interests were at stake; the
Saint set out at once. Mother Mary received
Teresa as an angel sent from heaven, gave
her full authority, and begged her to ex
plain how she had * succeeded so wonder
fully in producing the perfect life they had
96 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
dreamed of together, when she herself had
failed.
Teresa s teaching was eagerly listened to;
the austerities were diminished; the spirit
of love and joy entered into the hearts of the
community, and when their visitor left them
two months later, all were happy and con
tented.
Dona Luisa was still begging for her founda
tion at Malagon, and, induced thereto by
Father Banez advice, Teresa decided to
grant her wish. Having set all in order at
Medina, she went to Toledo, taking with her
four nuns from Avila. Here they were
joined by an old friend, Maria de Salazar,
who was the first religious to be professed
at the new convent. Having remained two
months at Malagon to put all in order, Teresa
resolved to go to Valladolid.
But Valladolid was sixty miles away, and,
worn out with hard work and travelling, the
Saint fell sick at Toledo, where she was obliged
to remain for rest and treatment. She was
scarcely well when she set forth again, only
to be attacked once more at Avila by an
illness which obliged her to stay at St. Joseph s
for another month, to the great delight of
her daughters. While she was there, a
i
- TERESA.
From the painting l>y Brother John de la Miseria.
FOUNDATIONS 97
Spanish gentleman, having heard that she
proposed to found a Monastery of barefooted
Carmelites for men, offered her a tiny house at
Durvelo, a little village near Medina. Teresa
gratefully accepted the gift and visited her
new property on the way to Valladolid. It
was indeed very small, and exceedingly dirty ;
Father Julian declared that nothing could
ever make it fit for a monastery, but Teresa
thought otherwise, and described it to Father
John and Father Antonio when they came to
see her at Medina. They were ready, they
declared, for the love of God, to take up their
abode in a stable ; the sooner the better.
But Father Antonio had first to resign his
office of Prior and put things in order at St.
Anne s, and it was decided that while he did
so Father John of the Cross should go to
Valladolid with Teresa to be instructed in
the Rule of the Reform. The foundation
in that town was successfully carried through,
but for Durvelo the consent of the Provincial
was necessary, and Teresa had not much to
hope for from Father Angel de Salasar. Con
sent was, however, obtained by means of an
influential friend, and Father John of the
Cross, armed with Teresa s blessing, and the
coarse habit that she had made for him with
7
98 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
her own hands, set out accompanied by a
carpenter, who was to make the necessary
alterations in the tiny building. Father An
tonio arrived soon after with a brother from
St. Anne s, and when Teresa visited them
three months later she found the foundation
in full swing. The cells, it is true, were so
narrow that no one could turn round in them ;
the beds were of straw with a stone for a
pillow; the whole furniture consisted of a
skull and two sticks in the form of a cross;
but the fervour of the three Fathers made up
for everything.
The Primitive Rule was now planted in the
heart of the Order of Carmel. There were
troubles and sorrows ahead, but the grain
of mustard seed had been sown ; it was growing
rapidly, and in the time to come its branches
were to reach to the ends of the earth.
CHAPTER X
PRIORESS OF THE INCARNATION
” The love and fear of God are like two strong castles,
from which war is made against the world and the devil.”
- TERESA.
FOUNDATIONS followed each other rapidly
at Toledo, Salamanca, Alba, and Pastrana,
in which latter place Teresa, to her great joy,
was also able to establish a second monastery
of friars. She was looking forward to a time
of well-earned repose with her daughters at
Salamanca when the Provincial of the Miti
gated Rule began to interfere with her convent
at Medina. It was not the first time that
this had happened, and Teresa wrote him a
firm but respectful letter reminding him that
all the foundations of the Reform were under
the jurisdiction of the General of the Order
alone. The reply of the Provincial was to
cancel the election of the Prioress who had
just been appointed at Medina, and to put
a nun of the Mitigated Rule from the Convent
of the Incarnation in her place. Teresa, who
99
ioo LIFE OF ST. TERESA
had hastened to the assistance of her
daughters, was ordered, together with the
deposed Prioress, to return at once to Avila
under pain of severe censure. Although the
convents of the Reform were not under the
Provincial s jurisdiction, Teresa considered
that she herself was, for she had entered and
made her profession in a house of the Mitigated
Rule. She therefore obeyed, although her
heart was heavy at the thought of leaving
her daughters at Medina in the hands of an
entirely incapable Superior.
It was at this very moment that, a second
visitation of the Order having been arranged
by Pope Pius V. and Philip II., two holy and
learned Dominicans were despatched to Spain
on this mission. The first halt of Father
Hernandez, who had been appointed Visitor
of Castile, was at the Monastery of the Bare
footed Friars at Pastrana. Delighted with
the fervour and austerity which he found
there, he next visited the convent of nuns,
the holiness of whose lives gave him an ardent
desire to know the Saint who had planned and
executed the Reform. Teresa was at Avila,
they told him, and thither he went to see her.
While there, having heard of the doings at
Medina, and that the intruded Prioress was
PRIORESS OF THE INCARNATION 101
heartily sick of her position, Father Hernandez
determined to remedy the evil. Going straight
to Medina, he presided, by virtue of the
authority given him by the Holy See, at a
new election, where, at his suggestion, Teresa
herself was chosen Prioress.
It took the Saint two months to repair the
mischief that had been done, but peace and
order were soon restored, and sorrow gave
way to joy. For Teresa herself, another and
a heavier cross was in store, an unexpected
and overwhelming sorrow. She received a
letter from Father Hernandez bidding her
return at once to Avila. In virtue of the
authority given him over the whole Order, he
had appointed her Prioress of the Convent of
the Incarnation.
The task of the Visitor was certainly not
an easy one. His mission was to introduce
certain reforms amongst the Carmelites of the
Mitigated Rule; to make them practise at
least what their Rule enjoined. The effect
produced on Father Hernandez, fresh from
the convents of the Primitive Rule, by the
sight of the disorder and relaxation which
reigned at the Convent of the Incarnation
can well be imagined. Things had not im
proved since Teresa s departure, and there
102 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
was much need of reform in every way. How
could such a state of things be remedied ?
Who could be found strong enough, patient
and gentle enough, to introduce the necessary
reforms and make these poor souls practise
even the Mitigated Rule with fidelity ? One
person and one only seemed to him to fulfil
the required conditions, and that one was
Teresa.
If the appointment was a blow to Teresa,
it was no less of a shock to the nuns of the
Incarnation, and they resolved to resist it
with all their power. Teresa would try to
enforce upon them the austerities of the
Primitive Rule, they protested angrily to one
another. They did not want to be re
formed; they were quite contented as they
were. They would die, they declared, before
they accepted her as Prioress.
To Teresa the burden seemed almost greater
than she could bear. How could she leave
her newly founded convents ? Would not
such a charge absorb all her time and all her
strength ? How could she make these nuns,
already strongly prejudiced against her,
practise their Rule and give up the customs
to which they held so strongly ? At our
Lord s feet she poured out all her misgivings
PRIORESS OF THE INCARNATION 103
and all her sorrow, and there, as always, she
found the help she needed. Take courage,”
said her Divine Master, ” and know that it is
my wish. It will not be so difficult as you
think ; and your foundations will not suffer.
Cease to resist, for my power is great.”
Early in October Teresa set out for the
Convent of the Incarnation, accompanied
by the Provincial, Father Angel de Salasar,
and another ecclesiastic. Standing in the
presence of the community and the Provincial,
she could not but remember another occasion
when she had stood, not as now in the place
of honour, but as a culprit before her judges.
And yet she had suffered less then than she
was suffering now.
When the act of election which made
Teresa Prioress was read, the storm broke
loose. Shouts and cries of indignation
drowned the voice of the Provincial. A few
of the nuns who were in Teresa s favour tried
to intone the Te Deum and to force their way
through the crowd to conduct her to the choir,
but the attempt was hopeless. The Pro
vincial threatened the rebellious party with
the censures of the Church; nobody listened,
and the uproar continued. Through the
raging crowd Teresa at last succeeded in
104 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
escaping to the chapel, where she prayed
earnestly for help from Heaven. Then, re
turning to the Chapter-room, where Father
Angel was still struggling to enforce silence
and submission, she went about to each nun
in turn, speaking to them gently and saying
aloud before them all that it was not astonish
ing that they should accept ungraciously a
Prioress who was so unworthy of the office.
Though Teresa was at last installed, the
nuns were not vanquished. When the first
Chapter was held, they agreed that they
would declare openly that they would never
recognize her as Prioress. But while they
were planning, Teresa was planning too.
When the nuns entered the Chapter-room, the
Prioress s stall was occupied by a large
statue of Our Lady, the keys of office were in
her hand, and Teresa sat on a low stool at
her feet. The application was easy to see:
Our Lady was Prioress of the Incarnation,
the Saint was to be her humble servant; the
hearts of the nuns were a little softened, and
still more so when Teresa spoke.
“If the sacrifice of my life or of my blood
would help you,” said their new Prioress,
u I would make it. Why should you look
upon me as a stranger ? I am a daughter
PRIORESS OF THE INCARNATION 105
of this house, and your Reverences sister.
You need not fear my rule. Though I have
lived amongst the Carmelites of the Primitive
Rule, I know, by the grace of God, how to
govern those who are not of the Reform.
My wish is that we should serve God in meek
ness, doing the small amount our Rule
demands out of love for Him who loves us
so much. Our Lord is merciful, and though
our weakness is great He will help us.”
The nuns hearts were touched, and they
promised obedience to Teresa, begging her
to reform whatever was opposed to the
practice of their Rule. The first thing to be
done was to make them happy in their
religious life, and to this Teresa brought all
her genius, her tact, and her knowledge of
human nature. She succeeded beyond all
expectation. Gradually the visits in the
parlour were diminished; Divine Office was
regularly sung; cheerful recreations, spiritual
reading, prayer, and work took the place of
the old idleness and distractions; discontent
and weariness gave way to joy and fervour.
This was not all done in a day, but by degrees,
the nuns learning ever more and more to
appreciate and love the Mother that God
had sent them. She could read every heart,
106 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
and had help and sympathy for every diffi
culty. Full of courage herself, she had the
gift of giving courage to others. When,
through her influence, Father John of the
Cross had been appointed confessor to the
convent, Teresa could truly say that her
daughters of the Incarnation bade fair to
rival their sisters of the Reform in their zeal
and fervour in God s service. The work that
had been done, and the earnest efforts that
had been made, were shortly to receive the
seal of God s approval.
The nuns were all assembled on the feast-
day of St. Sebastian in the oratory where
the first Chapter had been held. They had
just begun to sing the Salve Regina when
Teresa, looking upwards, saw suddenly that
the statue of the Mother of God which had
remained in the Prioress s stall had vanished.
In place of it there stood our Blessed Lady
herself, surrounded by adoring angels who
hovered in a circle above the stalls of the
community. The vision lasted until the
antiphon was ended, when the nuns, struck
by the sight of Teresa s radiant face, asked her
eagerly what had happened, and heard from
her own lips the account of what she had
seen.
PRIORESS OF THE INCARNATION 107
To this day the Prioress s stall in the Con
vent of the Incarnation remains vacant in
Our Lady s honour. The nuns sit on the
footstools below their stalls, which remain
also empty, and are decorated with flowers
in remembrance of the vision.
CHAPTER XI
THE LAST TRIAL
” Though trials or persecutions increase, yet if we
bear them without offending our Lord, rejoicing in
suffering for His sake, it will be all the greater gain.”
- TERESA.
TERESA had been about two years at the
Convent of the Incarnation when Father
Hernandez gave her leave to visit some of
the houses of the Reform where her presence
was urgently needed. The foundation at
Pastrana especially was in a very difficult
situation, for its foundress, the Princess of
Eboli, having suddenly lost her husband,
had announced her intention of entering the
convent as a nun.
The Prioress was aghast, and not without
reason, for she had had some experience of
the noble lady s whims and caprices. The
news that the Princess had had herself
clothed with the habit in her own palace
and was on her way to the convent filled all
hearts with a consternation which her actions
108
THE LAST TRIAL 109
only served to augment. Her request that
two of her waiting-women should be instantly
admitted as novices having been refused,
she sent for a Prior of the Mitigated Rule
to enforce her commands. When the Prioress
objected that it was altogether against the
rules that she should receive in the cloisters
the people who came to condole with her
on her husband s death, the self-made novice
replied that the convent belonged to her, and
she would do what she chose in it. After
three weeks of religious life she departed as
suddenly as she had come, dimly conscious
of the fact that she had made a fool of herself,
and furiously indignant with everybody and
everything. To satisfy her ill-humour, she
withdrew all that she herself as well as her
husband had given to the convent, leaving
the nuns in the most abject poverty.
Teresa was busy with a foundation at
Segovia, but as soon as she was free she set
out for Pastrana, determined to withdraw
the nuns from their impossible position and
to give up the house altogether. But the
Princess, although she would do nothing
more for the foundation, was determined that
it should remain, and the community had to
escape from the convent in thejlarkness of
no LIFE OF ST. TERESA
the night. They made their way with some
difficulty to Segovia, where the Prioress was
placed in charge of the new foundation.
Teresa s term of office at the Incarnation
had now expired, and she had great difficulty
in preventing the nuns from re-electing her.
” I love the house as my mother, and you all
as my sisters/ she said to them, ” but I
cannot remain with you. My other houses
need me too much.” She was then begged
to choose her successor, and having named
the sub-Prioress, who was immediately elected,
the Saint gave herself up once more to the
work of the foundations.
She was now over sixty years of age, worn
out with hard work and ill-health, but her
spirit was as valiant as ever. ” To suffer
or to die,” had been her constant prayer, and
her longing to share in the Passion of her
Divine Lord was to be satisfied more fully
than ever during the last years of her life.
The Carmelite Friars were not, as were
their sisters of the Reform, under the direct
jurisdiction of the General of the Order, but
were governed by the Provincials of the
Mitigated Rule. That sooner or later there
would be trouble on account of this arrange
ment had always been foreseen by St. Teresa,
THE LAST TRIAL in
but for the moment it was impossible to
remedy it. The Dominican Visitors, Father
Hernandez and Father Vargas, had been so
delighted with the fervour and zeal of the
Friars of the Reform that they had established
them in several new foundations, Father
Vargas going so far even as to relegate to
Father Jerome Gratian, one of the most
gifted amongst them, his own powers as
Visitor of the Order.
The Carmelites of the Mitigated Rule were
already jealous of the growth and prosperity
of the Reform; no sooner did they hear of
this new mark of favour than, filled with
indignation, they denounced Father Vargas
action to their General in Rome. This new
growth, they complained, was troubling the
peace of the Order; there would soon be a
schism in its midst. Every kind of charge
was brought against the friars of the Primitive
Rule. They were rebellious, disobedient ; they
founded new monasteries without permission ;
they wanted to enforce their reforms on the
whole Order.
Father Rubeo believed these reports. He
passed severe censures on the Barefooted
Friars, and sent Father Tostado, a Portuguese
Carmelite, to Spain to act as his representative,
H2 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
giving him authority to settle all the affairs
of the Order. A long and weary struggle
ensued. The Papal Nuncio and the King
upheld the Friars of the Reform, while the
far more powerful body of the Mitigated
Rule, with Father Tostado at their head,
were determined to drive them out of their
houses. Teresa prayed and suffered. The
work of long years seemed in danger of being
overthrown, but her trust was in God, by
whose inspiration she had acted.
In the meantime, new foundations for nuns
were made at Veas and Seville. The Saint
started for the latter town, accompanied by
a few of her daughters, in the midst of the
heat of a Castilian summer. They travelled
in a covered cart, and Teresa was attacked
by fever on the way. The only shelter they
could get was an attic directly under the
roof of a poor little inn. It had no windows,
and the pitiless sun beat in through the door
whenever it was opened; it was easier to
continue the journey than to seek rest in
such a place. While they were crossing the
Guadalquivir the ferry-boat got adrift, and
they were nearly drowned. They were rest
ing in a field near Alvino when a violent
quarrel broke out between some peasants
THE LAST TRIAL 113
and soldiers who were passing. Knives and
swords were drawn, things looked dangerous,
and the nuns were very much alarmed. But
Teresa, going straight into the midst of the
combatants, bade them remember that they
were under the Eyes of God, who would one
day judge them. There was something in
the face and voice of the Saint that strangely
calmed their passion. Swords and knives
were sheathed, anger was forgotten, and
they went their way in peace.
At last Teresa and her daughters reached
their journey s end. The convent at Seville
was founded, but fresh sorrow was in store.
At the time of the foundation of Pastrana,
the Princess of Eboli, having heard that the
Saint, in obedience to an order of her confessor,
had written an account of her life, requested
that it should be given her to read. Teresa
refused, whereupon the Princess, highly in
dignant, represented that the privilege had
been granted to the Duchess of Alba and Dona
Luisa de la Cerda. Why, therefore, should
she, equally a patroness of the Order, be
excluded ? The Saint was reluctantly obliged
to yield, but her fears were justified, for the
Princess, utterly incapable of understanding
what she read, lent the book to her friends,
8
n 4 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
and Teresa was unable to recover it. Later
came the death of the Prince and the un
pleasant episode at Pastrana which made the
Princess Teresa s inveterate enemy. Here
was a chance for revenge. The great lady
denounced the book to the Inquisition as
unorthodox.
In spite of the fact that it had been ap
proved by eminent theologians, Teresa herself
in her humility believed that what she had
written must be full of faults. She was in
the greatest distress, for she feared that if it
were condemned the scandal would fall upon
the whole Order. Her apprehensions, how
ever, were soon set at rest. The book was
not only approved by the Holy Office, but
commended; the spite of the Princess had
done the Saint more good than harm.
In the meantime, the affairs of the Bare
footed Friars were going from bad to worse.
Teresa herself, as their foundress, was in
cluded in the calumnies which were daily
being circulated against them. A Decree of
the General Chapter condemned her, in punish
ment for her disobedience, to confine herself
to one of her convents and to remain there
permanently. The Saint replied in a spirit
of filial obedience, but with the deepest
THE LAST TRIAL u 5
sorrow. Her only comfort, she wrote to
Father Rubeo, in the trials she had had to
bear was the consideration that she had be
lieved herself to be carrying out his orders
and doing God s will.
The nuns of Seville, before Teresa left them,
as they thought for ever, obtained permission
for Brother John de la Miseria, a friar of the
Reform, to paint her portrait. Brother John
was an unskilful artist, and better at prayer
than at painting; but after an incalculable
number of sittings he declared that the
picture was finished. “God forgive you,
Brother John, for making me so ugly !” cried
Teresa when she saw it, merrily, ” after all
you have made me suffer.”
In the autumn of 1576 the Saint arrived
at Toledo accompanied by a young and holy
lay sister, Anne of St. Bartholomew, who was
henceforth to be her inseparable companion.
Father Tostado, determined to uphold the
honour of the Mitigated Rule, had in the
meantime called together a Provincial Chapter
where it was decreed that the Friars of the
Reform were to be shod, to wear the usual
habit, and to be under the direction of the
Superiors of the Mitigated Rule. They were
to open their houses to all who should be
n6 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
sent to them and go themselves, if required,
to live in any house of the Order. The decree
meant the complete annihilation of the Re
form ; the Barefooted Friars resolved to resist
it to the utmost, and the Friars of the Miti
gated Rule resorted to violence. Father John
of the Cross was imprisoned, and so harshly
treated that his life was in danger. Mis
representations were sent to Rome, with the
result that another decree was issued, making
the nuns as well as the friars of the Reform
subject to the government of the Superiors of
the Mitigated Rule, and forbidding them to
receive novices. It was ruin, total and com
plete. When the news reached Teresa at
St. Joseph s, for once her strong spirit failed
her. All day long she remained alone praying
and weeping in the bitterness of her heart.
It was the Eve of the Nativity, and as the
night wore on Sister Anne of St. Bartholomew
knocked softly at the Saint s door and
begged her to take some nourishment before
she went to the choir for Matins. Having
succeeded in inducing her to come to the
refectory, the sister placed food before her
and retired to a little distance; but still
Teresa sat motionless, absorbed in her grief.
Then in a vision Sister Anne beheld our Lord
THE LAST TRIAL 117
standing before the Saint and looking at
her with eyes full of tender compassion.
Taking the bread which lay on the table,
He blessed it and gave it to her, bidding her
eat for love of Him. Courage and hope
returned to Teresa s heart; the Master had
not forsaken the work that He had inspired.
Next day she sent word to all the houses of
the Reform to redouble their prayers and
penances, writing at the same time to the
King to implore his help.
The authorities, deceived for a time, were
beginning to see where the truth lay. The
calumnies of the friars of the Mitigated
Rule were proved false. After long and weary
waiting a brief was published withdrawing
all the houses of the Reform from the govern
ment of the Mitigated Order. Shortly after
wards Pope Gregory XIII. decreed that the
friars and nuns of the Primitive Rule should
be united in a separate Province governed by
a Provincial of their own choosing. Teresa
was set at liberty; the Reform was saved.
CHAPTER XII
THE END OF SORROW
“Our Lord said to me one day: Thinkest thou,
my daughter, that meriting lies in fruition ? No, merit
lies only in doing, in suffering, and in loving.
- TERESA.
IN the end of June, 1578, St. Teresa, in
obedience to the order of the Provincial, set
out on a last visitation of her convents.
At Malagon she was laid up with an attack
of paralysis, but as soon as she was able to
move continued her journey. At Toledo she
fell ill again, but refused to rest. ” I am so
used to suffering/ she said, smiling, ” that
I can bear it and still go on.” After a week
of weary travelling in a rough cart over
mountainous country she reached Segovia;
it was mid-August before she came to Valla-
dolid, where she was again so ill that her life
was despaired of.
But new foundations were being asked for
in several places, and as long as the Saint
had life and breath she must be about her
118
THE END OF SORROW
Master s business. At Burgos there were
trials without number. The Archbishop, after
having given his consent to a foundation,
suddenly drew back and opposed the project;
Teresa was begged to come herself and try
what she could do. She was in a burning
fever, but would not on that account delay.
11 Go, my daughter, and fear nothing,” her
Divine Master said in answer to her prayer
for guidance. ” I am with thee.”
It was bitter wintry weather when the little
party, consisting of the Saint, her faithful
Sister Anne of St. Bartholomew, her niece
Teresita, and Father Jerome Gratian, started
on their journey. The floods were out, and
the whole country under water. The nuns
had to get out of the cart and walk, or rather
wade, through the icy stream, for the road
had altogether disappeared. It was Teresa,
under the burden of her sickness and her
seventy years, who encouraged them and
kept up their hearts; but presently her foot
slipped, and she was nearly carried away by
the torrent. ” Ah, Lord/ she cried with
loving familiarity, ” why do You put such
difficulties in our way ?” Do not complain,
my daughter,” was the answer; ” it is thus
I treat my friends.” ” Ah, my Lord,”
120 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
lamented the Saint, ” that is why You have
so few.”
Presently they were able to get into the
carts again, but these stuck in the mud, which
made another long delay. At last in a
torrential downpour of rain they reached
Burgos, where a noble lady, Dona Catarina
de Tolosa, had offered them hospitality.
As may be imagined, the journey had not
improved Teresa s condition. The Arch
bishop, approached once more on the subject
of the foundation, declared that he would
give his consent on condition that the nuns
had a good house and means of subsistence;
but a house could not be found.
In the meantime, the Carmelites had to go
out to church. One day as they were walk
ing along beside a dirty stream, Teresa gently
asked a woman who was standing in the
middle of the footpath to let them pass.
For sole answer the woman called her a
hypocrite, and pushed her into the gutter.
The nuns were very angry, but the Saint
bade them take no notice. ” The good
woman has spoken truly and acted justly,”
she said; ” that is only what I deserve.”
Another day when she was kneeling in the
church,”some men who were passing in a hurry
THE END OF SORROW 121
gave her such a push that they knocked her
down. Teresa only laughed at her ill luck
and made excuses for them.
At last a kind doctor of Burgos, who had
been called in by Father Jerome Gratian
to prescribe for the Saint, spoke of her to
his friend Ferdinand de Malauga, who offered
to lodge the little community in an attic near
the chapel of the large hospital of which he
was governor. This proposal, with its promise
of privacy, Teresa gratefully accepted, to
the regret of Dona Caterina, who would fain
have retained her holy guests. The dwelling
was poor, but it looked on to the chapel, and
there were the sick in the hospital to visit
and console. The patients could not have
enough of the Saint. ” When Mother Teresa
is here,” they would say, ” all our pains get
better; the very sight of her does us good.”
Dr. Aguiar was still searching everywhere
for a house. The only one for sale was de
scribed as most unsuitable in every way, but
as soon as Teresa saw it she was delighted.
The purchase was therefore concluded, the
Archbishop seeming to approve; but as soon
as the nuns had taken possession, he ex
pressed his displeasure, and it was only
after many anxious moments that his full
122 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
consent was obtained. A month later the
River Orlanzon, swelled by violent rains,
overflowed its banks and flooded the whole
district. Trees were uprooted, houses dis
appeared; a sea of water surrounded the
convent. Teresa, who had refused to join
the crowds of people who had taken refuge
on higher ground, remained to pray with her
daughters. The cold was intense, for the
water had invaded the lower part of the house,
and every gust of wind threatened destruction.
The nuns were half starving, for what food
there was was under water. At last, when all
seemed hopeless, the floods began to abate,
and the people of Burgos, in great anxiety
as to the fate of the Carmelites, came to the
rescue. The doors of the house were broken
open so that the water might escape, and the
rubbish was cleared out.
In the end of August Teresa went to
Valladolid, where she had intended to take
a much needed rest, but here a new heart
break awaited her. As Sister Anne after
wards said, ” God willed that she should have
nothing but suffering all along the road.”
Maria Bautista, her niece, and Prioress of the
convent, displeased with the Saint s decision
with regard to a difficult family affair,
THE END OF SORROW 123
received her with marked coldness. She had
been one of the most devoted of daughters,
and Teresa s affectionate heart felt her
behaviour keenly. Little did the young
Prioress foresee that it was the last time that
she would see her holy Mother s face on earth,
or the bitter regret that her little fit of ill-
humour would cause her in the days to come.
As for Teresa, half dead with weariness
and pain, she went on without delay, her only
thought being to console her companions
in the discomforts they had to endure. At
night they reached a miserable inn, where
they could get no food. The Saint was faint
with weakness, and Sister Anne tried in vain
to get some eggs or something that an invalid
could eat. Nothing could be procured but
a few dried figs, which she brought to Teresa
weeping. ” Do not cry, dear sister,” said the
holy Mother; ” the figs are very good; many
poor people have not as much.” The next
day she was worse, and when she arrived at
Alba the Prioress and the nuns, shocked at
her appearance, made her go to bed at once.
Teresa smiled. ” It is true, my dear children,”
she said, ” that I am very tired, but I have
not been to bed so early for twenty years.”
Next day she arose in time for Mass and re-
124 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
ceived Holy Communion. For a few days
she insisted on following the community life,
but at last had to declare herself vanquished.
They put her in a little room that looked
on the chapel, where she lay and prayed in
a happy silence. She was near her Lord, and
that was all she desired. The sisters succeeded
each other before the altar, praying, praying
that God would spare that precious life; a
heavy sorrow lay like a pall upon the house.
In the sick-room a strange perfume ex
haled from the body of the dying Saint, all
the more wonderful because the doctors
had prescribed rubbing with an ill-smelling
oil which they hoped would relieve the pain.
Everybody who entered noticed it ; the whole
room was scented as with jasmine, lilies,
and roses. Teresa, who felt that the end
was near, asked for the last Sacraments.
It was five o clock in the afternoon, and
the last rays of the setting sun were lighting
up the shadows when they brought her the
Bread of Life. As she turned to greet her
Divine Lord, her face shone once more with
that radiant light that her daughters had so
often seen while she prayed; she was as one
transfigured, young and beautiful as of old.
“I die the faithful daughter of the Church,”
THE END OF SORROW 125
she said after asking pardon of those who were
present for all that might have given them
pain, and begging their prayers.
The night was spent in great suffering,
though not a murmur of complaint passed
her lips. At dawn, Sister Anne of St.
Bartholomew, knowing the Saint s love of
cleanliness, clothed her from head to foot in
spotless linen, and was thanked by a loving
and grateful smile. Lying on her side with
the Crucifix in her hand, Teresa remained
for the rest of the day, silent and motionless,
lost in a loving contemplation of her crucified
Lord. A supernatural beauty and joy shone
from her face; those who were near watched
her in an awestruck silence; such a chamber
of death seemed to them like the gate of
Heaven.
To Sister Anne, who had been Teresa s
faithful companion for so many years, the
thought of what life would be without her
brought an almost unbearable sorrow. As
towards evening she raised her tear-dimmed
eyes to pray for help and comfort, she beheld
in a vision our Lord surrounded with angels
looking down with loving glance upon Teresa,
as Sister Anne had seen Him stand and look
once before in the refectory at St. Joseph s.
126 LIFE OF ST. TERESA
As she gazed the burden of her grief grew
light; a divine consolation filled her heart,
and she turned once more towards the bed.
Even as she moved the Saint sighed once or
twice softly and entered into the life that is
eternal.
So died St. Teresa, and how can that
blessed passing be more eloquently described
than in the words of the Saint herself ?
” How sweet at the hour of death to go
before Him whom we have loved above all
things ! What happiness to think we are
not going to a strange country, but to our
own country, since it is to the home of that
adorable Spouse whom we love so much,
and by whom we are so much loved !”
Please use the timestamp to follow chapters:
00:00:06 Chapter I
00:10:11 Chapter II
00:19:47 Chapter III
00:30:53 Chapter IV
00:42:04 Chapter V
00:54:07 Chapter VI
01:05:18 Chapter VII
01:17:02 Chapter VIII
01:31:09 Chapter IX
01:41:35 Chapter X
01:51:08 Chapter XI
02:02:49 Chapter XII
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